Life and Musings

Goodbye to All That

2009-03-19T01:19:00.003Z

It's been eventful but it's time to bid adieu.

You've been witness to almost five years of my life - the death of my father, trips to foreign lands, my depression and subsequent struggle back to my usual happy state of mind, my move to DC, buying my first home and the various home improvement projects, my dog Bella coming into my life and of course, my love life.

Through it all, this little blog has been an outlet to express emotions and thoughts that I was unable to in the daily reality of my offline life. Life is good. I got a huge promotion at work, I'm finally getting back into shape, I've stopped traveling for work as much and I'm content with life in general. Oh, it's not at all roses and wine, but I am lucky to be healthy, have a good job and be engaged in living a full life.

I'm fortunate in the friends I have and the friends I've made through this little blog of mine. But, since I can't spend the time I'd like to keep content fresh, funny and insightful I've come to the decision it's best to say goodbye.

Should you want to keep tabs, some of you already are friends of mine through Facebook. Those who aren't and want to see what I'm up to, shoot me an email and perhaps we'll friend one another.

Wishing all of you nothing but the best in all your endeavors!

JoJo

Mileage Run or Why the Airlines Hate Us

2008-12-14T21:34:00.002Z

I spent 15 hours yesterday flying to LA (via Charlotte) and back.

Why, you ask?

Well, I was a few thousand miles short of making Gold status on US Airways. And nowadays, the difference between having no status at all and Silver status is so nominal that one has to maintain at least Gold status to get some semblance of humane treatment by the airlines. I kid you not.

With the baggage fees, the pay for shitty meals (and now drinks at $2 a can), the surliness of the employees (BTW, I don't blame the employees for their attitude given how much they've had to give up in the post 9/11 world), and the general ineptitude of the airlines, those of us who have to travel frequently often have to do silly things like doing mileage runs at the end of the year in order to maintain sanity.

In previous years, airlines would give their best customers a pass when presented with situations like mine. But, alas those days appear to be forever gone. I was told that I had to fly the actual miles in order to maintain status.

So armed with two books, three newspapers, a fully charged iPod and my laptop loaded with tv shows I'd yet to see, I embarked on my wasted day. Given I was upgraded to first class for all four legs (DC to Charlotte to LA to Charlotte to DC), it gave me perspective as to why I was giving up what precious free time I had to do this mileage run.

It wasn't a total waste of time as I was able to catch up on my reading and television shows. But, all in all, I'd rather have gone somewhere for fun than to sit for hours on end on a plane.

Back from the Brink

2008-11-25T00:39:00.004Z

After spending three months in Colorado living, breathing, thinking and dreaming the campaign I landed at National airport late on November 5. My friend K had graciously picked up Bella from her trainer's and met me at the airport where I was greeted ecstatically by both. I was missed and life was good.

Or so I thought.

A malaise came over me. I, who never went to bed without unpacking and putting away the contents of my suitcase(s) neatly into the drawers and closets where they belong, left them untended for several weeks. I finally got tired of tripping over the suitcases so I upended the contents onto my bedroom floor in order to finally put the them away. My clothes and the detrius from my three month stay in Colorado (lots of Obama periphernalia) remained on the bedroom floor. My friends wanted so much to see me and I held them off as I was all "people'd out". I, who am vigilant about monthly pedicures and biweekly eyebrow waxing, couldn't be bothered to make an appointment. I couldn't do much more than wake up, walk the dog, go to the office, work, come home, walk the dog, and then crawl into bed. Weekends were spent sleeping upwards of 16 hours a day.

I'm much more apt to recognize my own personal signs of depression because a) I'd been diagnosed as clinically depressed right after my father passed away (not a state of mind I want to ever revisit) and b) being a naturally happy person, being depressed freaks me out more than most. So I'm careful to monitor myself for any signs. So, excessive sleeping? Check. General lethargy? Check. Change in eating habits? Check. Change in sociability? Check. Roh-oh. Time for a session with the therapist.

But, since insurance based therapists are booked waaaay in advance I wasn't able to get an appointment until December 8. Of course, if I had been suicidal I'm sure I could have seen someone sooner. But being that I only had a case of the blues blahs as I termed my mental state, I was sure that I could make it to December 8 if I could only make myself clean my house and, for that matter, myself (my eyebrows at this point were reaching unibrow proportions - iconic look for Frida Kahlo but not for JoJo).

I asked my good friend K to come over to literally kick me in the ass. But, as soon as I hung up with her, I realized my error in assigning her this task. She isn't a natural ass kicker. Lovely girl, but far too nice to be effective. I turned in desperation to my one of my standup gay boyfriends, Flip. Him, he's a perfect ass kicker.

Some might say that kicking someone in the ass isn't a way to treat a person who is suffering from depression. In my case, it's the perfect way to treat my blues. Generally, I ass kick myself all the time whenever I have self-doubt, self-pity, or self-hate. I remind myself of everything I have going for me and how I should treat myself, my home and loved ones with care, love and respect. Since, I was too tired and too blech to give myself my usual ass kicking, I designated my friends to come over to do so.

I was absolutely correct about K. She was horrible at ass kicking. Far too enabling of my current state of mind. Sorry, K! I still love you lots and you're still one of my favorite people. Flip, on the other hand, was perfect.

"Go fucking clean your room! Quit procrastinating! Get your lazy butt off the couch and go pick up this crap! Stop! Don't want to hear your excuses. There's no excuse for the condition of this house. For that matter, there's no excuse for the condition that you're in. When was the last time you showered? Yesterday? Really? Uhm, do you think maybe some hair product wouldn't be remiss?"

Slowly but surely over the course of the past five days or so, I've pulled my house and myself from the brink. My house is clean and eyebrows and my tootsies are back to their usual immaculate state. I've met my friends (still in small groups) for drinks on Friday and brunch on Sunday.

I'm still keeping my appointment on December 8, but ladies and gentlemen, I believe JoJo is back! Miss me?

Where's JoJo? Up There In Them Thar Hills

2008-09-27T03:59:00.004+01:00

Hi. I'm David and I'm fighting Goliath. I'm working fulltime on getting a ballot initiative passed in Colorado that is getting Gas and Oil in a lather. In fact, they're in such lather that this particular ballot initiative will be the most expensive in the country.

Since soon after Labor Day, I've been living in Denver trying to convince the young'uns that, yes it's way cool that you're voting this year...but, don't forget that Colorado has the longest ballot in the country this year (18 statewide ballot initiatives!) and really those suckers will impact your life far quicker than the new president will. They're not so interested in me initially, but I've become very engaging!

Anyway, it looks as though I'm out here through Election Day and after having watched the debate tonight between Barry and Walnuts, I'm more convinced than ever that judgement wins over experience.

Witness to History

2008-08-31T13:12:00.008+01:00

I've often said that I'm a lucky, lucky girl. I was fortunate enough to have spent the last week in Denver for the DNC. Actually, I was there to begin work on a ballot initiative campaign in Colorado but managed to get sucked into the madness of the week. I landed over week ago late Thursday night and this is how my week unfurled...

On Friday, I spent the day meeting with the coalition partners for the initiative. Did I mention that I will be on the ground in CO for at least the month of September but most likely until Election Day? I passed by Ann Curry schleping her own bags in the lobby of the hotel and chatted with James Carville at the salad bar.

On Saturday, I was hugged by both Harold Ford and John Lewis. My cheek was bussed by Rahm Emmanuel and then subsequently pinched a bit later by Wellington Webb. I spent the night at Six Flags Elitch Gardens at the Media Party - free amusement rides, food, and booze. I ended the evening with a wild pedicab ride back to the hotel.

On Sunday, I watched Joe Biden walk three blocks from a restaurant to his hotel and saw a throng 20 deep surround and follow him, bringing traffic to a standstill. We began the mad rush of credentialing (on a daily basis!) our people and assigning them to different events during the day. I finished the evening at my favorite concert venue - Red Rocks listening to Dave Matthews as the stars came out overhead.

Monday, after working all day, I went to the Pepsi Center and silently shed some tears watching the Lion of the Senate, Ted Kennedy, address what may likely be his last Democratic Convention.

And then, I witnessed Michelle Obama and her daughters charm the pants off of the delegates on the floor of the Pepsi Center. I finished the night at the Rock the Vote bash with N.E.R.D. and Fall Out Boy.

Tuesday was one where I felt like I ran around all day but got very little accomplished. It was a day filled with receptions (Vernon Jordan, Emily's List, Illinois Delegation, etc.). I gave up my ticket to see Hillary in person (stupid decision in hindsight). I was transfixed to the television watching her speech. I was, at that moment so proud of her and proud to be a woman and a Democrat.

Later, I caught up with my friends to watch Cindy Lauper

and Melissa Etheridge

at the Human Rights Campaign concert.

Wednesday felt rushed and harried as I finalized plans for the rest of my month long stay in Denver and then went to the Pepsi Center to witness Bill Clinton offer his full throated support (finally!) to Barack Obama

and watched Joe Biden accept the nomination for Vice President.

Thursday morning was a mad rushing about to get credentials to the right people and then I went to wait in line with my coworkers for 3 miserable hours to get into Mile High Stadium. At one point, I distinctly remember thinking that I was too hot and miserable to wait in the burning sun any longer and that my view would be much better in front of a television in airconditioned comfort. Then I mentally slapped myself silly and asked how I would explain to my yet to born children that I had an opportunity to witness history and turned it down because I was too hot.

I was ultimately rewarded for my sunburn when I realized my seats afforded me this view (this picture is in no way zoomed)...

I'm not ashamed to say that I cried a number of tears watching Barack give his speech.

The ultimate topper of a fantastic night was not when we ran into Oprah, Mary J. Blige, Forrest Whitaker and Kanye West leaving their suite (though that was a surreal experience in and of iteself) at the end of the evening. Nope, we were stopped by Secret Service on our way to the escalators and ran into Barack and Joe and their families.

Of course, Friday was a hell day of waking up early to catch a flight back to DC and connection hell. But, nothing could take away the experience of being witness to history.

Sartorial Expressions

2008-08-07T20:27:00.008+01:00

Yesterday, I had a horrible day at work. A God awful day when I wondered if every single new project for Campaign 08 was going to end up on my desk. I cursed (silently, of course) my boss, my inane and incompetent coworkers and most of all, myself. Damn you, work ethic!

Anyway, I walked outside my building in the fumidity (aka fucking humidity) to wait patiently (ok, I'm lying) for a friend who'd requested a ride home. Going back and forth impatiently by the door of my building, I suddenly spied a sight which turned my frown upside down.

A very pretty young woman was walking down M Street in a culotte jumpsuit much like the one pictured below.

Ok, I admit. I have a problem with the jumpsuits being judged as appropriate clothing for adults. And don't get me started on culottes. But, imagine the material being purple. With blue 4-inch circles made of sequins patterned all over the material. Then imagine the Mary Kate Olsen Chanel sunglasses.

Then imagine the bright orange leather hobo bag.

And finish the look off with black rubber flip flops.

How can you not be smiling after seeing such a sight?

How Not To Make Yourself Crazy Throwing a Party

2008-08-07T03:22:00.002+01:00

I'm throwing a little gathering for 30 at my place this weekend to celebrate what will most likely be my last free weekend before the nuttiness that is known as Campaign 2008 is thrown into superhigh gear.

But, JoJo, you may ask. You only have a 780 square foot condo! How are you going to manage so many people? Easily, is the answer. I have a huge back patio and the weather gods are smiling upon my little soiree. Saturday's forecast is sunny and a high of 83 degrees. Everyone, outside!

But, even if the weather was going to be typically humid and nasty, I wouldn't have worried. It's my opinion that throwing a large bash is always less stressful than throwing an intimate dinner party for six. Of course, this is predicated on the fact that my large parties are always very casual affairs.

Theme - Seafood Fest. I borrow extra chairs from my neighbors. I open up my folding table and move it next to my patio table and then throw down plastic tablecloths, newspapers, mallets, paper plates and plastic cups. I have wet wipes and paper towels at the ready. I dump the steamed seafood in the middle and voila! My decorating is done.
Dress - Are you kidding? There's no way anyone is going to have to go into a lot of effort figuring out what to wear given the theme of the party. Shorts and t-shirts!
Food - I go down to Maine Avenue Fish Market and buy a bushel of crabs, some shrimp, a bag of mussels and another of clams. I also ask for people to let me know if they want a lobster and get it all steamed and seasoned while I'm there. It's a quick 10 minute drive back to my house. For those none seafood eaters, I fire up the grill for some burgers.
Beverages - I get a case of my favorite Pinot Gris and a few six packs of different beers. Everyone knows that they're coming over to a chick's house. So if they want something non-alcoholic that isn't labled diet, then they bring their own.
Guests - I invite my usual gang and then some new people. I like inviting people who are a range of ages and come from different places. So I'll have young (19 is my youngest invited guest) and not so young (but some are bringing their kids). I'll have single people and married people. Democrats and Republicans (yes, I know some and am actually friends with them!). With the alcohol flowing, there's always great conversation.
Budget - As loyal readers know, JoJo is often cashless. So, you may ask, how I'm able to provide such a feast on a limited budget. Easy, but tacky. I ask people who order lobster to donate $20. All of them are happy to do so and even those who don't order lobster always leave some sort of donation - be it cash or a bottle of nice wine. I always break close to even.
Cleanup - So easy! Dump everything into trash bags. Fold up the table and return the borrowed chairs.

There you have it. A fun, easy way to throw a party people will remember.

The Squirrel vs. JoJo

2008-08-03T02:56:00.005+01:00

Let me just tell you right up front that the squirrel won.

I have a love/hate relationship with my gardens. All told, I've probably sunk upwards of $1,000+ on beautifying my little plots of dirt (one in the front and the others in the back of my unit). I hate the general grubbiness of tilling the soil and planting flowers and resent the upkeep necessary to maintain the carefully chosen flowering plants in their continually blooming condition. But, I love how it looks as I come down the sidewalk to my unit and enjoy people complimenting me on how pretty my garden is.

The gardens are a constant learning experience. I've had some tragedies befall my plantings (who knew that roses had their own diseases?) and some pleasant surprises (my gerber daisies turned out to be perennials rather than the annuals that they're supposed to be). My back gardens I tend to think of as my laboratory. Because they're in the back of my unit, very few people actually see the plantings. It's where I experiment with different plants to see how they grow and look.

I've always loved the look of sunflowers. One of my favorite things about driving through the south of France or Tuscany are the fields of sunflowers following the sun as it moves across the sky. For fun, I thought I'd try and see how sunflowers did in my back gardens as it gets almost continual sun throughout the day.

I bought six seedlings and planted them below my bedroom window. To my amazement, they grew like weeds. A few weeks ago, they were about four feet tall and began to bud. Last week I was pleased to note several flowers blooming on each of the sunflower plants. Their cheerful faces brought me a lot of joy. After all, when I planted them they were only a few inches tall.

I'm lucky enough to have summer hours at work so I technically don't work on Fridays. I say technically because I've yet to have a Friday off this summer. But, I was able to work from home. In order to make myself feel better, I decided to open up the shutters so that I could view my flowers while I worked at my desk.

When I opened the shutters, I was upset to find that three of my sunflowers had toppled to the ground. I just assumed that the weight of the flowers had toppled them over. Of course, if I had been thinking logically, I would have asked myself how that entire fields of sunflowers with even larger flowers manage to stay upright. I made a mental note to buy some supporting stakes at the hardware store and went back to the computer.

The next time I looked up I noticed that two more of my sunflowers had toppled. This time I went outside to investigate. Suspiciously, all the toppled plants were missing their flowers and only the petals remained. Were the birds pecking at the sunflower seeds?

Not discovering any obvious culprit, I went back inside perplexed as to what was destroying my carefully nurtured sunflowers. Why now, at the height of their maturity and beauty?

As I sat pondering the fate of my beloved flowers, I saw a fat squirrel climb up my remaining sunflower. I watched in amazement as he swung his weight back and forth until my poor plant toppled to the ground taking the only flowering branch of my barely living rosebush along with it. As I was thinking, "I hope a big fat thorn pierced your greedy little heart, you motherfucker!", the damn thing plucked the flowers off the plant. Then the most galling event unfolded...Mr. Squirrel decided that the shade of the umbrella on my brand new patio table would be the perfect place to eat his stolen meal.

By the time I woke up Bella from her doggy nap stupor (Bella hates squirrels with a passion and her idea of heaven would be to finally catch one) and got outside, Mr. Squirrel was long gone leaving only the petals of my final sunflower as a reminder of his nefariousness.

Squirrel - 1. JoJo - 0.

I'm Such a Sap

2008-07-30T23:50:00.001+01:00

Yes, the story of Christian the Lion made me tear up...

The One Where I Cooked Dinner and Never Stopped

2008-07-29T02:27:00.005+01:00

My gay husbands (Rayban and Flip) had finally found me out. I had to admit to them I've been faking it.

You see, I've never come out and said I didn't know how to cook...I just let them assume I didn't know how to cook. For the two years we've been neighbors they just assumed that I collected cookbooks to look at the pretty pictures. They thought that my predilection for buying expensive cookwear and kitchen accessories was just another one of my many idiosyncrasies.

Because of this assumption, we've had a great system going. I would buy whatever protein and vegetables for the week and Rayban would cook. Flip and I would sit on my couch and gossip about work or the latest bad television show. I honestly haven't had to turn on my own grill since I purchased it two years ago.

But alas, all that changed right before my surgery. You see, I go into nesting mode whenever I know I'm going to be laid up. I decided to make my very famous (to family and Chicago and Denver friends only) chicken soup made from scratch. Because it's labor intensive (cooking the chicken, making the stock, chopping the vegetables, etc.) it's not a dish I make very often. But it is literally ambrosial in its effect on people who partake of it.

I figured I'd freeze it in small containers so I could just heat up a bowl whenever I was hungry.

Unfortunately, the boys found me cooking and demanded a sample. They knew as soon as they had swallowed the first spoonful (and the two bowls apiece that followed) that I was a fake. The gig was up.

It was like a seal was broken. I've become a cooking machine. I've made grand dinners of red wine braised leg of lamb, pork chops, salt encrusted sea bass and beef tenderloin. All the meals would be accompanied by sides such as sauteed spinach, couscous, grilled asparagus and creamed corn. My desserts have included pavlovas and cookies, with the consensus favorite being my rum infused trifle.

Tonight, I served some wild grilled salmon that had been soaking in a mixture of sake, hot mustard and soy sauce, along with some grilled white asparagus and garlic wheat couscous. Not a very difficult dinner, but very flavorful and fairly healthy. But, while I was cooking this I came to the realization that my adventures in cooking has to come to an end soon.

Gentle readers, you may ask, "Why would you do that, JoJo?

The answer is this - I never go out anymore.

All my friends want to do is come over to my place to have dinner and wine. I've done the math and have figured out that since I'm still buying the groceries and wine for the dinners, I still spend the same amount of money (and more, if truth be told) if I were living my life in my usual socially active, pre-surgical way. Plus, if I'm going to be swimming with sharks, I need to be at least diving into the waters by leaving my house once in a while. In this case, Mohammad definitely needs to be wandering towards the mountains.

I've told the boys that I'll be hosting one last blowout dinner event (a traditional New England crab and lobster boil for 20 people) in a couple of weeks and then my cooking career will be placed on hiatus until such time I get laid.

So You Think I'm a Tease?

2008-07-27T20:01:00.004+01:00

Dear Asshat-

Just because we've exchanged a couple of emails and IM's does not ensure that 1) I'm willing to go out with you and 2) does not mean I've led you on.

I'm only willing to waste my time sparingly and given that I don't have a whole lot of time to waste, I decided not to give you any of it for the following reasons:

Your lack of knowledge as to the difference between a Pinot Gris and a Pinot Noir (one is white and the other red, asshat). Snobby? Sure. But, hey, I look for that type of knowledge in the men I date.
Having a boat is not an automatic turn on for me. Asking me on a first date on said boat only brought visions of me stuck in the middle of the Potomac having to swim back to shore to avoid your roaming hands. And by the way, telling me that sailboats are for those who want to work made me question why you were so lazy. Sailboats? Way sexier than powerboats.
Labeling other women you may have dated in the past as golddiggers only makes me think you have poor taste in women.
Calling me a tease just because I had to sign off to go to a meeting and then emailing me to tell me the same only insured that my already sinking opinion of you has doomed you to the discard pile.

Listen, I'm a busy, busy girl. I don't need a man to complete me. I'm already complete. I know who I am and what I want. I'm successful at my career and I'm damn good at it. I make no apologies for it and I ask that the men I date try to work with my insane schedule.

In return, you get a great girlfriend. One who's witty, challenging, attractive and kind. One who you'd be proud to introduce to your parents, boss, colleagues and friends. One, who I might add, is great - nay, fantastic - in bed.

Too bad for you that I'm not interested. I've blocked your emails and your IM's so don't bother trying to contact me.

JoJo

Jumping Back Into Shark Infested Waters

2008-07-23T09:11:00.001+01:00

I think I'm ready to date again.

I came to this realization slowly over the course of many a night quaffing numerous bottles of Pinot Gris (today I took out 17 empty wine bottles with my weekly recycling and no, I hadn't had a party in the last 7 days) with my Urban Tribe (the gals and the gays) ringed around me and my grotesque ankle.

I love my urban tribe. They amuse me to no end (being great conversationalists). And they came to my place rather than going out or hosting our gatherings at their own homes cause I'm a gimp and let's face it, lazy.

But...I want some sex. Hot, long, perhaps slightly naughty sex. And since I'm neither a lesbian (though if I were, I'd definitely be of the lipstick variety) and my gays are only attracted to their own kind, my urban tribe isn't gonna help me on this one.

Now I know that some of my favorite bloggers will tell me dating isn't necessary to get great sex. And typically, I would agree. But see, my usual "what are you doing tonight" f*ck buddies have gone onto the "no longer available for casual sex" column. Flyby and I have been done (finally! some of you might say) since early April and the others have somehow gotten themselves married or are dating. Since poaching is just not done by JoJo, it leaves me with the sad task of picking through the dull, the dentally challenged, the narcissists, the socially inept, etc. to find some appropriate guys to bang (as they say colloquially).

Since I have to find my new sex boytoy (ok, perhaps he can be more than just a casual playmate) by the middle of next month (I'm in the midst of a six week lull between the end of our annual meeting and the Democratic Convention at the end of August. After the DNC, I'll only have time for conjugal quickies - conversation and dating will be extremely curtailed until after Election Day), I need some help. Beyond the usual online dating sites, where can I meet age appropriate (late 30's since I don't feel like joining the cougar ranks), single, disease free guys who aren't opposed to some spirited conversation and even more spirited sex?

All suggestions will be given the appropriate levels of consideration.

Odd Sighting

2008-07-21T13:54:00.002+01:00

I was driving up 11th Street toward K Street this morning on my way to the office.

As I was driving, I saw a figure apparently dancing in circles in the middle of the intersection at 11th and H. As I got closer I saw a tall, well groomed African American man dressed as if he were out for a jog and what looked to be Bose over the ear headphones, literally dancing around in a counterclockwise circle. Cars and buses were making their turns around him as if he were invisible.

My questions are these:

Why was he dancing in the middle of a very busy intersection during morning rush hour?
Why wasn't anyone stopping him from dancing in the middle of a very busy intersection during morning rush hour (hello, DC police?)?
Who was he?

Warning! Graphic Post-surgical Picture

2008-07-20T19:30:00.005+01:00

It's been six weeks since my most recent ankle surgery.

As horrible as the above picture looks (if you look closely the fresh four inch scar intersects at the bottom with the three inch scar from my previous ankle surgery), my foot is 80% less swollen and bruised than it used to be.

Apparently when the surgeon opened me up, he couldn't even find one of the ligaments that support the ankle. The other two were, in his words, shredded. And the tendons? Well, they were in pretty bad shape too. But, seriously...he couldn't have made the scar smaller?

I'm finally walking again but can only fit my foot (and the brace I have to wear) into my running shoes or my flip flops (a definite orthopedic no-no). But since I loath the white sneakers and professional suit look, I've ditched the doc's orders and have been wearing flip-flops. Hey, at least I'm still wearing the brace!

Cubs Win! Cubs Win!

2008-06-23T16:12:00.001+01:00

Part One of the crosstown rivalry clearly shows that the Cubs are the superior team.

Lessons from My Father

2008-06-16T00:35:00.006+01:00

I've been recuperating at home since my ankle surgery the Friday before last. It's been much harder this time around - due, I think, to the combination of age and the extent of the repairs done. The forced time off has left me some time to think - most thoughts being very shallow (George Clooney is single again!) but some reflective.

Today is Father's Day. It's a day that doesn't pass without some ache in my heart. Who knew that I would miss the obligatory phone call to Dad? I would give just about anything to hear his voice and laugh with him again.

Recently, a coworker of mine, whom I admire very much for her insight, honesty, generosity, and talent, approached me. Her father had been recently diagnosed with lung cancer (the same kind of cancer as my father had and unfortunately one with a very low survival rate) and since this was his second bout of cancer (first being prostate), his diagnosis is grim. Knowing I had been through the chemo, radiation, doctors' visits and hospital stays, she asked if I would share my thoughts on his care.

I gave her some practical tips.

Make sure to start an insurance folder to hold and reconcile every bill and insurance statement. You'll amazed the number of papers that come in for every doctor's visit.
Start a notebook of appointments of his doctors, a record of all discussions, procedures, medications and even bodily functions. When the nurses and doctors ask, your father won't remember and neither will you. It's easier to reference the notebook.
Find out where his will, his bank statements and other important papers are. Digging for them afterwards will be a nightmare that you don't have to go through.
Arrange for hospital equipment (shower chair, walker, hospital bed, etc.) to be brought to the house. It's amazing how quickly all those things become necessary. You don't want to be fighting to get those things when he needs it, it's better to have them before he does.
Discuss with him (gently) about his end of life wishes - hospice or hospital, extreme measures or relief of pain, funeral arrangements etc. His having some say in those decisions will give him a sense of control. And knowing that these are his last wishes will make those decisions easier.

Then after having given her the above list, I thought some more of the time I had with my father toward the end and I came up with another list. One that had little to do with practicalities but more to do with the soul.

Take care of yourself. Don't forget in the chaos of chemo, radiation, childcare, work, and your marriage - you have to take time to make sure you're ok. It's not at all selfish. Ignoring your own needs will only make it harder to recover.
Talk to your father every day. Call several times a day. Leave messages if he's too tired to talk. And don't just talk about how he's feeling. Talk about the memories, your kids, family gossip, the news. You don't know when you're last conversation with him will be so always end your calls with, "I love you."
Allow yourself a good cry once in a while. It helps. Really.
When it's time, and you'll know when it is, go be with him. Turn off your Treo, don't answer phone calls from work, don't turn on your laptop. This is your time. Honor him. Honor yourself and your relationship with him. Even when Dad couldn't talk and wasn't awake, it comforted me just to hold his hand.
And after he's gone, remember him with love but don't idolize or idealize him. He wouldn't want that. No, what he'd want would be for you to go forward living your life and not wallowing in the could haves, should haves, or would haves. Live your life as he taught you - with honesty, hard work, respect and love.

These are the important lessons that my dad taught me.

Quick Updates

2008-06-03T01:16:00.005+01:00

Many apologies for my nonposts. I can give you excuses but they'll just bore you. Work, work, work.

So here's a quick update from the post titled "Subjects I Could Blog About".

Bathroom remodel is a no-go. JoJo is poor. Oh, excuse me. I'm cashless, not poor.The maid is a goddess who comes to bless me with a clean, dog hair free home every other week.
Bella had a two week intensive training boot camp with Brandon, the dog whisperer of Northern Virginia. She loves him and is much better behaved on leash as well as with other dogs. Apparently, her behavior problems can be traced back to the owner of record (moi). Of course, she's still nowhere near perfect. I had to spend $300 on repairing my banister. Long story but in a nutshell - she's very, very smart and very, very stubborn. Kinda like her owner.
My vacations have been severely curtailed this year by the number of out of town weddings I'm expected to go to (three and they're all family). One in San Diego is gonna cost me $1300 alone between airfare, hotel and car rental. Why can't anyone in my extended family just elope? ARGH!
My new romance sputtered. No updates on the straight males attracted to JoJo front (the male gays still flock to the Queen of All Hags). Of course, my lack of effort may have something to do with the lack of action.
Things at Casa de Parental Unit is more interesting on a daily basis. Baby Bro is probably moving back to LA and Mom is having another go with empty nest syndrome.
Democratic primaries - let's just call Barack the winner (as it's been clear since the NC and IN primaries) and concentrate on getting a Democrat elected president, shall we? Hillary, I'm a feminist and I'm kinda embarrassed that you're playing the victim card. Cut it out.
I've avoided Costco for a month. Going cold turkey is tough. I now spend too much money at Whole Foods to compensate.I'm so slammed with work that I've been reduced to getting my roots colored at 6:30 in the morning. I kid you not. I've found a stylist in DC who keeps ridiculously early hours for his favorite clients. Apparently, I'm not the only one in DC who works like this.
My trainer is awesome though he's getting a bit frustrated at my lack of motivation. It's hard to get motivated while stuffing my face with cupcakes from Georgetown Cupcakes.
Since I can't afford my new addiction to Georgetown Cupcakes (see cashless but poor reference) I've been trying to replicate their red velvet cupcakes which I make with my new KitchenAid mixer. I'm a very good baker. I've managed to go through four 5lb bags of sugar in the last month to try and get the recipe just right. My cupcakes are a hit with coworkers, friends and even my personal trainer but I'm still not satisfied that I've managed to perfect the red velvet cupcake from Georgetown Cupcakes.
My addiction to Facebook is easing somewhat but if you absolutely need to know what's going on in the life of JoJo, that's probably a good place to look.
So the threat of surgery has become a reality. I'm scheduled to have my second ankle stabilization surgery on my right ankle this Friday. After over a year of frustrating rehab and re-injury, I've decided that being conservative wasn't working. Cast for 10 weeks - joy.

That's the Cliff Notes version of my life. As you can see, life is dull.

A More Perfect Union

2008-03-18T21:31:00.004Z

A brave and honest reflection on race by Barack Obama today. How many politicians do you know who says of a longtime friend whose actions have reflected poorly on him, "I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community" and "As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me."

Subjects I Could Blog About...

2008-03-17T01:46:00.005Z

The insidious cold/flu that laid me up for days
The ridiculous estimate to remodel the bathroom ($14,000!)
The day I broke down in tears at the state of my house and hired a maid (asking myself again and again why I didn't just do it sooner)
The very expensive meal in the Tasting room of Restaurant Eve with my favorite gays
Bella getting kicked out of doggie daycare (and the adventures of finding a doggie therapist so she can get reinstated)
My most excellent ski trip to Vail
A potential new romance which, of course, comes with complications
How I'm going to survive six days back at Casa de Parental Unit over Easter
My depression about the neverending Democratic primaries
The art of spending loads of money at Costco on things you don't absolutely need
Going to various open houses of homes I could never possibly afford
My recently discovered talent for writing great match.com profiles for my friends
The latest and greatest injury to JoJo's body (rolled ankle, doc threatening me with yet another surgery)
My addiction to Facebook
Finding the perfect bra (it's harder than you think!)
Weight gain and my latest hairbrained scheme to take it all off (join expensive gym and hire personal trainer so you're guilting yourself to go to the gym by thinking of all the money you've invested)

But, since I neither have the time nor energy, the above laundry list will have to serve as an update on what's been going on in my life.

How Does One Scalp Pope Benedict Tickets?

2008-02-04T18:59:00.000Z

I've been brought up in the most Catholic of households. Growing up, there was no question as to what we'd be doing on Sunday mornings. Unless you were admitted to the intensive care unit at the hospital, you were going to mass. The reason I know this is that it is the only time I recall from my youth that I got to skip going to church.

Now, church never really bothered me growing up. It was just another one of those rituals you went through plus, I didn't really pay attention to the mass as it was always in Korean. Then as I grew older, I began to attend mass on my own and of course, it would be in English. Oi! Some of the homilies the priests gave curled the very straight hair (this was after I let my perm grow out - hey! It was an 80's thing!) of this liberated and liberal woman. I became disenchanted with the teachings of the church and gave voice to the thought of leaving. What about the Episcopal Church, I asked? After all, it's like Catholic-light.

My parents were mortified and threatened me, not only with my soul burning in everlasting hell, but expulsion from the familial unit. I had grown up enough at this point to understand that leaving the church would, for them, seem like a failure on their part. Given that I didn't want to break their hearts, I set about finding a compromise. I began to seek out Catholic churches with priests who were more lenient of their interpretation of scripture and the edicts of the Holy See.

So like any good consumer, when I moved to DC I tried out a variety of churches. I recently found one affiliated with Georgetown (gotta love the Jesuits) that I happen to enjoy. It relieved my mind that I wouldn't have to lie to my mother when asked the occasional question of did I go to church. By now, she's resigned to the fact that if I hit church once a month that's a good record for her sinful daughter. Now, when she asks if I went to confession that's a different story. Really, don't we all have a direct link to God?

I give you this backstory to highlight the impossibility of a recent task set forth by my very Catholic mother.

Mom: JoJo, I want to come to Washington to visit you.
JoJo: Great, Mom. I'd love to see you. When do you want to come out?
Mom: I was thinking around April 15th until the 18th.
JoJo (checking her calendar): Mom, April 15th is a Tuesday.
Mom: Yes, I know.
JoJo: Why would you come in the middle of the week?
Mom: Well, the Holy Father is coming to Washington then and there's a mass at the new baseball stadium.
JoJo: Oh, ok. That's sounds great. Do you have tickets?
Mom: No, I thought you'd get them for us.

Now, understand if the Pope were to visit Chicago, I'm fairly confident my mother could somehow get tickets. She's a well known, pious, faithful, active member of the local parish. She volunteers often for church activities and sponsors many outings. She gives to many other parishes, convents and seminaries around the country in my dad's memory, or in my or my brother's names. She even tithes.

Me? I'm the parishoner who wakes up on Sunday morning and debates with herself on the relative merits of brunch with a bloody mary (or two or three) or going to mass. I have to confess that the bloody mary's often win.

So given that, does anyone out there know how I can get my hands on two tickets to see the Pope?

Yes We Can

2008-02-03T03:44:00.001Z

My New Fave YouTube Video

2008-02-01T17:02:00.001Z

Enjoy!

A Great Wedding

2008-01-23T01:25:00.000Z

So AL got married to Handyman on Sunday. It was the perfect intimate wedding of close family and friends with the wonderful personal touches that makes the event so special.

AL's father and her sister (who has an AMAZING voice) sang a couple of selections during the ceremony. Her dad introduced one of the songs by saying that it was a song by the group Weezer who he didn't know, but the lyrics had sentiments that he definitely recognized.

Here's to my good friends AL and Handyman...

My Best Friend

When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you
You make things alright when I'm feeling blue

You are such a blessing and I wont be messing
With the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

There is no other one who can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face
I hope you believe me
Cause I speak sincerely
and I mean it when I tell you that I need you

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

I'm here right beside you
I will never leave you
and I feel the pain you feel when you start crying

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you

Yes I do
Yes I do...

Yes I do

So Cold My Nose Hairs Are Frozen

2008-01-20T11:03:00.000Z

So I've been up since 4:00 this morning (3:00 Eastern). It's 5:10 and I'm currently waiting to fly standby on the 6:00 am flight to Chicago so I can catch an early connection back to DC. AL is getting married today and I really want to be there. Since coming home from my annual birthday trip to ski in CO on the 1st, I've been on the road for work (what else is new, right?).

I was in Marco Island, FL from the 4th through the 6th, New Orleans from 9th through the 11th. and I've been in Minneapolis since Thursday evening to present at a conference. I'm not ashamed to say that I've not stepped a foot outside the hotel until this morning when I exited to catch a cab to the airport.

Why not, you ask? The temperature has not risen above 0 the entire time I've been here. Friday's high was -7, yesterday was -10, right now it's -3. They're expecting the temperature to rise to a balmy 4 degrees today.

As a colleague of mine stated when he arrived on Friday, "It's so cold my nose hairs are frozen".

So What's Been Going On With You?

2008-01-16T02:31:00.000Z

Hey, it's me...JoJo. I know, I know. What a horrible correspondent I've been.

But, truthfully life has been awfully dull at least to me. Since my last post in mid-November (Good God, has it been that long?!?!), I've been just been a traveling, working, drinking, eating fool.

Thanksgiving was spent in Chicago with my family. I drove to Chicago so I could bring my dog Bella home rather than kenneling her for a week. Bella almost killed my mother's Yorkie, Max. But, hey it was Max's fault! He attacked her by biting her nose (he was a tad jealous of all the attention she'd garnered away from him) and Bella, being the eye for an eye kind of bitch she is, bit his nose back. As she's 55 lbs to his 10, she won that contest. Max spent the rest of the week cowering in fear whenever she'd come within a few feet of him.

Looking back, I can honestly say that my visit to Chicago was the last time I felt truly rested. Since I got back the Friday after Thanksgiving (only 11 hours of drive time! OK, I did speed a little), everything has been kind of a blur of airplanes, drunken conversations, workplace political battles, the traditional political battles (go Obama!) and wishing for a full 8 hours of sleep.

Realizing that I didn't have enough flight miles to maintain my Gold status with US Airways (damn short segments!), I spent my one free Saturday (the 8th) in December (and, unbeknownst to me at that time, January) traveling from DC to Denver and back. For those of you who don't get on planes very often, this may seem crazy. But everyone I spoke with who travel as much as I do totally understood!

The first couple of weeks of December is always this crazy round of holiday parties. I even gave one myself on the 15th. Then, the crazy round of travel began...which I'll split up into a few separate posts.

In the meantime, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and hope the new year brings great happiness.

The Chicago Hot Dog - A Culinary Experience

2007-11-18T19:19:00.000Z

Whenever I come home, I try have at least one Chicago-style meal - it could be deep dish pizza, an Italian beef sandwich, a good Polish, or dinner at Charlie Trotter's or Tru. You might ask why I'd rank such pedestrian fare as high as Charlie Trotter's, a restaurant frequently cited as one of the best in the world. Well, like the food at Charlie Trotter's, you can't find the real thing except in Chicago.

This trip, I decided to sample the Chicago hot dog for lunch. In fact, I went all out and ordered cheese fries AND a real (not diet) Coke. My arteries are in the process of clogging as I type this.

So what makes a Chicago hot dog so different, you ask? A Chicago hot dog is a steamed or boiled (never grilled - it would then be a, I kid you not, char-dog) all beef hot dog topped with yellow mustard, bright green relish, onions, tomato wedges, pickle spear or slice, sport peppers and a dash of celery salt served in a steamed poppyseed bun.

Because I was lazy, I didn't make a trek down to Weiner's Circle in Lincoln Park where I still have fond, but very hazy (it must have been the alcohol), memories of late night, post-bar trips to this local institution. Instead, I went to my mother's neighborhood Portillo's where they serve, not the best Chicago hot dog, a very acceptable Chicago hot dog (okay, I admit it, two Chicago hot dogs).

These I scarfed down with the aforementioned Coke and cheese fries (the cheese, of course, not being of the color found in nature). Yum!

Road Trip!

2007-11-16T14:35:00.000Z

I'm packing up the car, bundling up the dog, and headed out of town early tomorrow morning to drive the interminable 12 hours to the glorious burbs of Chicago.

The parental unit receives a choice of Thanksgiving or Christmas as the time of year where we three kids gather 'round and pretend we're actors in a Hallmark commercial. She always choses Thanksgiving as it's the one time of year I practice my culinary skillz and she can kick back and not cook.

Why am I, a person who doesn't particularly enjoy long drives, driving to Chicago you ask? Well, I'm poor. Or as Baby Brother would rather have me say - cashless. Of course, this cashless situation is one of my own making as I've had to spend lotsa moolah on plane tickets to CA for Christmas and Steamboat Springs for my annual New Years/Birthday ski trip.

So not having the cash to shell out for a yet another plane ticket (in addition to the costs of boarding the pooch), I decided to drive to Chicago to spend time in the bosom of my family.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving.

Why I'm a Barack Supporter...

2007-11-04T20:02:00.000Z

Here's his speech from yesterday called "One Year from Now"...

Beginning Again

2007-11-02T00:43:00.000Z

This time last year, I was fresh from the triumph of finishing the Marine Corps Marathon. Granted, I was as slow as the proverbial snail. But I finished.

This year, I find myself in a malaise - I can't seem to get motivated to get myself back into fighting (or running) shape. I need a fresh challenge. And watching all the runners last weekend inspired me once again.

So, though my foot continues to pain me, I've decided to try training for distance running again. This time, I'm starting at a more reasonable goal.

Yes, last year I completed my first marathon despite the fact that when I began training I hadn't run further than a 5K. But, recognizing that the effort of achieving such a lofty goal exacted a great toll (patellar tendinitis and then the continual pain of plantar facsiitis), I've decided that I'm going to aim a bit lower than a marathon. My goal this time around is to finish the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler.

To that end, I've consulted with my lovely orthopedic surgeon, Dr. L and my new podiatrist, Dr. O. Both asked if I was really sure I wanted to do this to myself and when assured, yes I did, they came up with a plan that accommodated my demand that I not be asked to give up my skyscraper heels (hey, I'm only willing to give up so much for good health!). So with anti-inflammatories and new custom running orthodics, I'm ready to head out to pound (ok, run/walk) the pavement.

Next Saturday will be my first training run. Wish me luck and no further injuries.

A New Way to Scare Myself

2007-10-15T01:45:00.000+01:00

In my never ending quest for excitement, I've done some stupid things.

I thought I'd done everything that was to be done to scare the living bejeesus out of myself. But I was wrong.

ZORBING - it's what's next!

Stop #6 - DC

2007-10-14T09:02:00.000+01:00

Sooooo...

In the midst of all this flying back and forth, I've had a wee bit of a problem. Actually, it's Bella that's had the problem. She's had an attack of fleas. It's a problem that was first discovered about three weeks ago. Despite multiple flea baths, applications of flea spray, bombing the house with flea fogger and thorough going overs with flea combs, she's still itching!

Before you judge, you should know that I'm super hyper vigilant about keeping her on schedule with her preventative meds and her vaccines. I'm a nervous mommy in that respect. But, I've come to discover that in the DC area fleas are prevalent and really, really stubborn to current meds. I hate them as they've been biting me as well. This is so very upsetting to me I've now resorted to going back to the vet and begging for some sort of cure.

Two hundred and sixty-nine dollars poorer, Bella is on a anti-flea oral med, new monthly flea drops and a new heartworm preventative that includes anti-flea something or another. She also got her regularly scheduled kennel cough vaccine.

But that wasn't the end of my Bella expenses for the weekend. Nope, I decided even further action was warranted. I took her to her groomers and had her shorn and rewashed in a flea bath. Let's just say that her wash and cut costs more than mine (and mine ain't cheap!).

My dreams of my perfect pair of nude ballet flats (Lanvin's version costs $515 at Barney's - if you can find them) went bye-bye after this weekend.

sigh

Stop #5 - Boise, ID

2007-10-10T16:31:00.000+01:00

People are nice here in Boise. I don't mean fake nice as I've often experienced in parts of the South - the "bless your heart" platitudes which really mean f*ck you.

Nope, people here in Boise are just nice. And this creates a problem for me, as I'm not. Oh, I'm nice to the people who are important to me in my personal life. But this is business and there are some hard truths that need to be told to the folks I'm working with. But, how can I say such harsh things to these really nice people? I'm in a quandary.

I'm also sick with my first official cold of the season. It sucks to be on the road and ill. Flying with the Mother of All Sinus Infections is going to be fun. The good news is that I'll be heading home tomorrow rather than Saturday as I've been pulled back to HQ work on yet another emergency project. The bad news is that I'll still have to head to Tucson on Sunday morning.

But, back to Boise. It's an exploding metro area with booming population. They can't build schools fast enough to keep up with the influx of new families. This is where folks from Washington and Oregon are coming to find more affordable housing. Other than being extremely conservative, I like the vibe I get from the people here. But, could I live here? I think not.

Idaho Trivia - Idaho grows more potatoes than any other U.S. growing region, annually producing about 30 percent of U.S. fall production. The abbreviation "Cwt" used below means hundredweight, or the equivalent of 120.0 million burlap bags - each containing 100 pounds of potatoes. Another way of expressing the state's production total is 12 billion pounds. Potatoes contribute $2.5 billion or 15 percent of Idaho's gross state product.

Stop #4 - Atlanta

2007-10-06T01:28:00.000+01:00

Mom often tells me she's jealous of all the different places I go because of work. My standard reply has been - yes, I've been all over the US, but the majority of what I've seen has been its airports, hotel rooms, and the inside of the various offices. I fly in either wicked early in the morning or late at night in order to be able to maximize my time either at the office I'm visiting or my own office.

I've only tasted glamorous business travel back in the heyday of the dot com craziness. Business class to Europe and stays at higher end chains extending through weekends for sightseeing were common. Business travel today is likely to be a coach seat on a commuter jet and a quick overnight stay at a Hilton property (and often of the lower end brands).

I'll preface my most recent travel experience by stating that, theoretically, when you become a loyal consumer to a brand of rental car companies, hotel chains and airlines, you receive "preferential" service.

I've stayed at the Hilton Atlanta Airport many times over the past five years. Our regional office is located close by and we often meet here as it's convenient for many of our affiliates. I would say that it's a better than average airport hotel. Which is why I find my current experience here puzzling, not to mention extremely stressful.

I got in late last night at 10:30 (after Hertz managed to keep me waiting for a car for 45 minutes even though as a President's Circle member, I was supposed to have my car waiting for me close to the Gold Preferred bus drop off area). I plopped my credit card down and gave them my name. I'm a Hilton Honors Gold member and my preferences are part of my profile (nonsmoking, king room with guaranteed late arrival). I was welcomed back (I was just at this hotel at the end of September). Then, I was told that the only available room was a smoking room which was absolutely unacceptable. Not only was the smell of cigarettes abhorrent to me, but I'm fighting a sinus infection and just the act of breathing through my nose is hard.

I was told that they had a parlor room that was on the executive floor that "had a bed". I said that was fine as it's been my experience that meant a Murphy bed. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the room and I found a cot. I called down to the front desk where I was told that this was absolutely the only nonsmoking room available the entire night and that they'd move me the next morning to a room that matched my preferences. By this time, I still had a couple of hours of work so I sucked it up and stayed. I ended up moving to the sofa in the wee hours of the morning because the springs on the cot kept pressing into the flesh of my back. I packed my suitcase so that they could move it while I was out for my meeting.

After another marathon all day meeting and fighting with Atlanta traffic (almost 2 hours for a 18 mile trip on the "expressway"), I got back to the Hilton at 7:30 this evening . I got to the front desk and very nicely gave my name and old room number and asked for keys to my new room. I got a blank look and so I explained my situation. Apparently, my carefully packed bag was still in the old room. I was then told, regretfully they only had rooms with two double beds on a "partial non-smoking" floor.

I'm proud to say I didn't just lose it right then and there. Instead I calmly told the front desk clerk that it wasn't anything he did, but I needed to speak to a manager. I told manager my tale of woe, mentioning the fact that I was a Gold member and that I found it still hard to believe after spending $179 for a cot they still were not able to accommodate my reasonable request for a new room.

After some scrambling on her part, I'm ensconced in a quiet king room. I've been told that I wouldn't be charged for last night's stay only after I had to go back downstairs to find out where the hell my suitcase was. I'm catching an 8:40 flight tomorrow morning and still have at least two hours worth of work tonight.

Yes, travel is glamorous.

Atlanta Trivia: Atlanta is home to Coca-Cola and Coke has an huge, brand new facility celebrating it's history and cultural contribution (such as it is) at a new facility called Coca-Cola World. Coca-Cola was invented in May 1886 by Dr. John S. Pemberton in Atlanta, Georgia. The name "Coca-Cola" was suggested by Dr. Pemberton's bookkeeper, Frank Robinson. He penned the name Coca-Cola in the flowing script that is famous today. Coca-Cola was first sold at a soda fountain in Jacob's Pharmacy in Atlanta by Willis Venable.

Stops #3 and 4 - Indy and DC, aka Home

2007-10-04T05:15:00.000+01:00

Indy was a blur of meetings and rushing to the airport. Thankfully, I was able to make an earlier flight and got home at a somewhat humane hour. What did I do when I got home? Four loads of laundry. Such an exciting and glamorous life I lead.

Since getting back to town on Tuesday evening, I've worked 23.5 hours. That's right folks, a bit under 12 hours a day. Today was the killer. I got to work at 8 this morning, left at 7:45 (and only because it was made clear by me that my dog absolutely NEEDED to be let out after being shut in the house for 12 hours) this evening, back online at 8:15 and just finished the PowerPoint presentation for tomorrow 15 minutes ago at 12:15 a.m.

My dog, Bella, has been once again dropped off at AL's house. Bella has perfected that "Why Are You Abandoning Me Once Again?" puppy dog look. The guilt!

I still have to pack for my trip tomorrow night to Atlanta and Boise. I won't be back home until a week from Saturday and then only to drop off my bags and repack to leave for Tucson the next morning. And oh, I forgot to mention...I have to be in the office tomorrow morning by 7:30.

I've decided that my brain is too scrambled to figure out what to pack tonight. I've set my alarm for 6 and am putting myself to bed.

DC Trivia: The Capitol Dome is topped by twelve columns encircling a lantern. The lantern is lit when one or both houses of Congress meet in night session. Believe it or not, it is still lit right now.

Stop #2 - Western Suburbs of Chicago

2007-09-30T13:38:00.000+01:00

The drive from Indianapolis to Chez Mom took three hours. Yes, I was speeding just a tad.

Once home, I had to wait in the driveway for a bit as I no longer have keys to the house I grew up in. Mom drove up and I was immediately enveloped in a long hug. Unconditional love is great.

Nothing much of anything has occurred since I've been home. I ate, slept, took Mom out to dinner and then slept some more. It's been lovely.

Today, we're headed to Dad's grave to visit him as tomorrow would have been his 65th birthday. Though I still feel that I get much more from remembering him in other ways, both Baby Brother and Mom take comfort from their visits. It's small thing I can do to accommodate both their wishes.

We'll have lunch and then, I drive back down to Indy for a dinner meeting.

I'm glad I came back up to Chicago. A little slice of home is exactly what I needed.

Chicago Trivia: The Cubs have made their first trip to the playoffs since 2003. It still wounds the city to think about the fact that they were only FIVE outs from going to the World Series were it not for the actions of one Steve Bartman. The last time that the Cubs were in the World Series was in 1945. The last and only time they've won the whole thing was in 1907. Any bets on how successful they'll be this year?

Month of Travel - Stop #1 Indianapolis

2007-09-29T00:50:00.001+01:00

I know I've been a bad blogger lately. I've been suffering from a bit of writer's block. But I've just started another juggernaut of a road trip for work and that's always good for some stories.

Let's begin by giving you JoJo's itinerary for the next month.

9/27-29 - Indianapolis (arrived evening of the 27th)
9/29-30 - Chicago (drive from Indy)
9/30-10/1 - Indianapolis (drive from Chicago)
10/1-4 - Washington DC (arrive evening of the 1st)
10/4-6 - Atlanta (arrive evening of the 4th)
10/6-13 - Boise (depart early on the 6th)
10/13 - DC (arrive evening of the 13th)
10/14-16 - Tucson (depart early on the 14th)
10/16-19 - Washington DC (arrive evening of the 16th)
10/19-21 - Chicago (arrive evening of the 19th)
10/21-24 - Tucson (arrive evening of the 21st)
10/24-? - Washington DC (arrive evening of the 24th)

So, here I am in Indianapolis. I arrived last night at midnight after my flight was delayed and having managed not to toss my cookies in one of the most turbulent flights in recent memory.

I started off the day in a daze since I hadn't slept well and my first meeting was at 8 am.

Impressions of the people - very nice. Of the city - meh. I've had three strangers tell me in the space of six hours that Indianapolis "isn't that bad". Talk about faint compliments.

After discovering midday that there weren't any meetings for me this weekend and I wouldn't be needed until Monday morning, I immediately looked into getting back home. Unfortunately, I couldn't leave until tomorrow morning due to my meetings not ending until 7 pm and I discovered flights to DC were way too expensive. After mulling over my dilemma, I've decided to drive 200 miles to Chicago tomorrow for a quick visit with the maternal unit and Baby Brother and New Sister.

Why would I do something so silly, you ask? Well, I've determined that I'd rather be tired than bored and irritated which is what I'll be if I'm stuck in this town all weekend by myself amongst the rabid Colts fans. After all, they trounced my beloved Bears last Super Bowl.

I'd rather go back to Chicago to bask in the eternal angst of being a Cubs fan. Will they finally make the playoffs again? Or will they collapse just on the cusp as they've frequently done before? Ah, Chicago...a place I'll always think of as home.

Indianapolis trivia: Indy is called the "Circle City" because the original design of Indianapolis was created in 1821 by surveyor Alexander Ralston, who was strongly influenced by the design of the nation's capital. At the center of a Mile Square plat, Ralston placed a circle — originally called the "Governor's Circle" because the governor's mansion was intended to reside there. In 1902, when the Soldier's and Sailor's Monument was placed on the circle, it became known as Monument Circle, and has become a symbol for the Hoosier capital.

Chicago Wedding Weekend Recap

2007-09-04T22:56:00.000+01:00

Yes, yes, I know. Bad blogger am I. Work, dating (or lack thereof), life, blah, blah, blah.

Anywhoo...

So this weekend was the wedding of Baby Brother to his new bride, New Sister in my beloved hometown of Chicago. Everybody from the extended family was there (we have a large contingent of second (or is it third?) cousins from California) and there were events every single evening. I'm contemplating checking into rehab just to recover. I'm still emitting alcohol vapors from my pores.

First and most importantly, the bride was beautiful and the reception was a rocking success.

But to recap the highlights of the weekend:

Friday
We were supposed to have had the rooftop of Citizen Bar. Prodigal Son and I got there early to meet up with the CA contingent of relatives. Unfortunately, the bar got the date of the event mixed up and when 30 of the out of town guests, along with the bride and groom were stuck waiting in line, we decided to bail on the place and ended up at another bar.

I forgot the name of this brand new lounge, but it is owned by the same folks who own Meiji Restaurant (located just downstairs). They were extremely accommodating and we stayed until close. Of course, the $5K tab (mostly in booze) also probably helped.

Saturday (AKA Rehearsal Day)
I had priest chauffeuring duties (my reaction was, "Really? You know I swear like a sailor, don't you?"). Unfortunately, downtown traffic SUCKED ASS this weekend. I'd given myself an hour and a half to pick up the priest since I was driving in from my mom's house in the western burbs (25 miles due west of downtown Chicago) and had to pick the priest up from the University of Chicago Theological Institute on the southside and bring him to the church which was located in the near westside. I barely got the priest to the church at the required hour of noon and then the rehearsal was chaos. My mother insisted on a Korean priest. My brother and his bride understandably wanted the mass in English. Though this priest was game, his English was lacking. I was also pissed at the selection I was given for the first reading (Genesis 3:18-24). I know that the very conservative priest was probably the one that chose it, but still I'm a feminist for Christ's sake!

We were supposed to have begun the rehearsal luncheon at 1:30 but as the rehearsal dragged on, I was tasked with going ahead and greeting folks at the rehearsal venue, Dragonfly. The entire upstairs space was rented out to accommodate the reenactment of the traditional Korean wedding ceremony which was to happen right after lunch. Unfortunately, the priest (damn him!) wanted to leave right after eating so I was unable to witness (nor mock) the reenactment. I'll have to wait for pictures.

Prodigal Son and I got Baby Brother and New Sister two nights in the tower suite at the Hard Rock Hotel as a wedding gift. Thankfully, we only had to pay for the room - I understand that Baby Brother and his groomsmen had quite the bar bill that evening.

We later met at the top floor lounge at Sushi Samba with the rest of the out of towners and proceeded to party til close.

Sunday AKA Wedding Day
Knowing that I had no intention of driving out to the burbs while intoxicated, I checked into the Hilton Chicago for the day. I got my hair done and went to pick up the priest in plenty of time to make the 5:00 mass.

Mass took forever as did the pictures but finally it was time to par-tay (as if the previous nights didn't count). The reception was held at Adler Planetarium which I have to say was one of the most beautiful backdrops to a reception I've ever been to (and I've been to more than my fair share of weddings). The food was fabulous, the people beautiful, and the drinks flowing. Mom had her sexy back and everyone had a fantastic time.

The afterparty was at Between Lounge and I don't remember much. But then, neither does the bride or groom.

Monday AKA The Day After
Hungover, we met for brunch at Wishbone where we all indulged in some hair of the dog disguised as yummy Bloody Mary's. Some folks had tickets to my beloved Cubs but I had a flight to catch. So after grabbing another couple of drinks at Murphy's Bleachers, I headed to the airport and came home.

Ask Me On a Date

2007-08-17T20:20:00.000+01:00

Flyby: What?

JoJo: Ask me on a date.

Flyby: Why?

JoJo: Cause I want an excuse to anticipate taking a shower, shaving my legs, putting on makeup, wearing a pretty dress and donning a killer pair of heels.

Flyby: You do those things all the time anyway.

JoJo: You don't understand! I want to go to a small, intimate restaurant, sit at a table for two, hold hands and listen to you tell me how beautiful you think I am.

Flyby: Sweetheart, we did that a couple of weekends ago - remember? We went to Evening Star Cafe, you were looking especially pretty and I told you so?

JoJo: sigh. But we didn't plan for it to be a romantic evening. It just happened.

Flyby: So?

JoJo: It's a hit or miss proposition with us. Any time we get together it can be a wonderfully romantic time or I can get stuck at a table with you and three of your pilot buddies talking about your various military exploits.

Flyby: I thought you liked my friends.

JoJo: You discussed the migratory pattern of birds for over an hour.

Flyby: Hey, it's an important subject! Do you realize how many air incidents are caused by birds?

JoJo: Zipit! I want you to ask me out on a date.

Flyby: Honey, I hate to point this out to you but whenever we get together, it is a date.

JoJo: No it isn't. It's just a means to an end - in your case, the booty call.

Flyby: Oh, dear God. Sweetie, we spend a lot of time outside of bed too you know.

JoJo: But, not on dates. We run errands together, and if there happens to be a restaurant nearby, we'll grab lunch or dinner. We never plan dates.

Flyby: So what would you consider a date?

JoJo: You call me up, tell me that you've made reservations somewhere and would I like to go? On the evening of the date, I prepare myself to wow you, you pick me up in your car (bringing me flowers is optional), we go have a romantic dinner. Perhaps after one or two after-dinner cocktails, I'll let you bring me home and take advantage of me.

Flyby: You know, I did offer to buy you flowers last weekend when we were at the Farmer's Market but you refused because you were going out of town.

JoJo: And you get points for that very romantic gesture. But let me remind you that we ended up eating brunch with your friends and discussing not only the migratory pattern of birds but how to land a plane on the Antarctic, which squadron has the best postings and something about how the pattern of migrating birds affect bird flu. I just lost interest at that point.

Flyby: Ok. I'll give you that. Probably not my finest moment. So when do you want to go out on this date?

JoJo: Tell you what. Since I have to go to Atlanta this week and next week I'll be in Chicago for Baby Brother's wedding, why don't I give you until the weekend after Labor Day to come up with a date plan?

Flyby: (smirking) So where do you want to go?

JoJo: ARGH! Surprise me.

The Cast of Characters

2007-08-09T17:15:00.000+01:00

I thought it time to give you a guide to the cast of characters in my life.

JoJo
This would be moi. Neurotic, snarky but generally fun to be around. Will bend over backwards to help those I love. You others? meh.

Bella
Spoiled rotten, poorly behaved (apparently the fault of the owner), adorable and lovable dog of JoJo.

Mom (aka Parental Unit)
Often critical but much loved parental unit of JoJo.

Baby Brother
The only grownup in JoJo's immediate family evidence by the fact that he's about to be the first to get married out of the three kids. Mom, it only took 32 years to finally marry one of us off!

Prodigal Son
Much worried over brother/son - currently swimming in money (it happens in cycles).

Flyby
Oi. Ok, let's just leave it at our relationship is undefined and undefinable.

Judge Judy
My boss. Won't ask me to work any harder than she does. Of course, she works 75 hours a week. She's like another mother to me.

Izzie
Supremely sarcastic cousin of JoJo. Recently transferred to Bangkok.

SM (aka SuperMama)
Best friend of JoJo. Lives in Denver. Works hard, plays hard. Awesome Mom to Buddy (aka Budster).

AL
Owner of Aslan, the neurotic 100 lb doberman. We swap dogsitting and war stories about work. Boyfriend is Handyman.

Handyman
Boyfriend of AL. Handy guy to have around. Built JoJo's beautiful new patio. This is the guy who answers guy questions for JoJo. For example, "So, how do you set up the wireless router?"

TT
Former Denver roommate of JoJo. Recently moved to Steamboat. We'd hate her, but hey it's a free place to stay when skiing! Also, we're planning a Parisian getaway next year.

Flip
Friend, neighbor (two doors down!) and coworker of JoJo. Was the one to convince me to move into the burbs. Loves to buy property, make an obscene profit and move to the next one. Obsessed with lawncare. Lives with his partner, Rayban. Honorary member of the Gals.

Rayban
Flip's partner. Patience personified. Honorary member of the Gals.

The Gals
The very cool kids JoJo hangs with - all successful, single, attractive, funny women.

KGB
Neighbor and member of the Gals. Instrumental in coordinating events and people. Loves her wine.

Mel
Neighbor and member of the Gals. Works with Meg. Loves her tomato plants, cats, new kitchen and soccer.

Libertybell
Member of the Gals, sister of Tinkerbell. Fun and snarky. Love her humour.

Tinkerbell
Member of the Gals, sister of Libertybell. Works with Suze. Loves full sugared Coke and is a size 4. Would hate her if I didn't love her.

Wendola
Member of the Gals. Reintroduced me to laying out by the pool and the Seafood Market in southwest.

Meg
Member of the Gals. Smart and rabidly Republican.

Suze
Member of the Gals. Works with Tinkerbell. Funny, insightful and always flying around.

As others appear in JoJoland, I'll keep you updated

Apparently, Having No Cash Is Different From Being Poor

2007-08-07T14:40:00.000+01:00

I was able to purchase my condo last year because my mother gave me the "Wedding Fund" as a down payment. My parents scrimped and saved for the day that I would eventually get married. My mother had it all planned (350 guests, color scheme, ceremony site, etc.) and all I had to do was provide a groom.

I tried. I really did. Several serious relationships, talk of marriage, even a few engagements - still no wedding. What can I say? I have commitment issues. Imagine that.

So a year ago, realizing at age 36 I probably wasn't going to get married any time soon, Mom gave me the money from the Wedding Fund (not an insignificant amount, mind you) to buy my first house. But, even then she had to co-sign for my mortgage.

You see, I was one of those irresponsible people who ran up credit card debt in college and her early 20's. I got myself out of debt, but became irrationally terrified of running up credit card debt and became a cash only kind of gal. If I didn't have the cash, I didn't spend it. I loved my debit card. I thought I was being fiscally responsible. But, how was I to know the fact that I had no credit history for the past decade other than my bank account and my rental payments was going to be detrimental to getting a loan?

Baby Brother has worked valiantly throughout this past year to improve my credit. I have credit cards (gulp) again which I'm required to use and pay off. Of course, there's the matter of the fact I have a mortgage of several hundreds of thousands of dollars. And now that I've bought a new car, I'm in even more debt.

Last week, Baby Brother informed me that it was time for me to fly solo on my mortgage. He was going to refinance me so that only my name would be on the loan (apparently this will strengthen my credit score even more). I'm ashamed to say I had a bit of a breakdown.

Baby Brother: JoJo, why are you freaking out? This is a good thing. It'll be one loan rather than the two you have, a great interest rate, only $50 more a month than what you're paying and it'll be in your name.

JoJo (wailing): But I'm POOR!

Baby Brother: What the hell are you talking about?

JoJo: I HATE living paycheck to paycheck. I have no money!

Baby Brother: I hate to tell you this, but most Americans live this way. What do you mean you have no money?

JoJo: I mean I have almost nothing in my savings account and my checking account is perilously close to the same.

Baby Brother: But you can pay all your bills, right? Also, don't you have a very healthy chunk of change in your 401K?

JoJo: Yes, but...

Baby Brother: Listen, I know this has been a tough month for you. You built a patio that you're still paying off and on top of that you had to buy a car which you weren't expecting to do. But again, you have nothing to worry about.

JoJo: You don't understand, I haven't been this poor in years!

Baby Brother: You're not poor.

JoJo: Of course I am. Aren't you listening to me? I have no cash!

Baby Brother: That's different than being poor.

JoJo: What the hell do you mean? I'm in debt and I have no cash!

Baby Brother (patiently): Listen to me. You're not in debt. You're building equity. You're making improvements to your home which allows you to enjoy your home even more and which will pay off when you eventually sell your home. You bought a car which won't lose its value quickly, takes much less gas, and will be better for the environment. And you're in a job which allows you to afford all these things. You're not poor. You just don't have cash at the moment.

JoJo: But I need cash to survive!

Baby Brother: No, you want the cash so you can buy shoes and go on your trips. Listen, once you pay off your patio, which will be in a couple of months, you'll have cash again. In the meantime, you're still building equity.

JoJo: I'll still have car payments!

Baby Brother: Which you can comfortably afford. Right now things are tight until you pay off your patio. Calm down. Besides once we refinance, you have a month where you won't have to pay your mortgage.

JoJo: When's that going to be?

Baby Brother: Probably September when all the paperwork is done.

JoJo: That's a relief.

Baby Brother: So you're ok?

JoJo: Yeah, I guess so. I was worried I wasn't going to be able to afford another season ski pass this year.

Baby Brother: Oh my God. I didn't just hear that. I'm hanging up now.

Get Off the Plane!

2007-08-01T15:15:00.000+01:00

First, I know I've been a horrible blogger. It's not that I don't have things to tell you. I'm suffering from laziness. I will tell you this...blogging will most likely be sporadic through the rest of the summer due to my travel schedule and previously mentioned ennui.

I'm cursed with small plane-itis. I'm convinced that I'm never ever going fly my personal fave plane (the Boeing 777) again. I only get sent places where commuter jets reign. And I always am stuck next to the big guy with the huge ass. Ok, enough ranting.

So, I'm at National Monday night waiting for the next commuter jet to one of the many gates of hell with which I've become familiar. Also familiar is the fact that I've worked a full day and was catching the last flight out of DC which would get me to my hotel around midnight (16 hour day folks, woohoo!). That is, if all the stars aligned, the gods were benevolent and my run of bad luck at airports had expired.

But of course my flight was delayed even though up to 45 minutes before said flight, it was showing on time.

"Par for the course," I thought. So I patiently sat myself down at the US Airways Club and waited for my flight.

I got on said flight and hour and a half past original departure time. As I was buckling my seat belt, my phone rang. It was my colleague calling to inform me that his flight had been cancelled and there was no way he could make the meeting. He then asked me where I was. When informed where I was seated, his only response was ,"Get off that plane!"

So that's what I did. Hey, at this point I don't mind spending more evenings in my own bed.

Nothing That Three Bottles of Pinot Gris Can't Solve

2007-07-16T02:33:00.000+01:00

It's been a mighty expensive week for JoJo. First, I'd decided to add a patio to the back of my condo. Not any brick patio, mind you. but a 400 square foot, random pattern slate patio. Poor Handyman was stuck installing said patio in the fumidity (aka fuckin' humidity) while I was away in Philly. Then, there was the unforeseen (but not unexpected) of the new Prius.

So tonight, in celebration or in mourning (after all, I have car payments now for the next five years and several thousand dollars owed for the new patio), JoJo decided to host her first outdoor soiree. Her fave neighbors dropped by (thankfully, all I had to do was provide the vittles and they actually cooked) and we had a lovely evening downing three bottles of Erath Pinot Gris (the perfect summer wine, imho) with spinach and strawberry salad and garlic herb chicken with corn on the cob.

Life is a bit better with a full stomach and the happy sheen of too much vino.

Car Buying - One of the Most Distasteful Experiences Known to Man

2007-07-12T17:34:00.000+01:00

I'm not a car person. In the 20 years I've been a licensed driver, I've owned two cars (ok, three as of yesterday).

I don't get excited by the labels or various accoutrements. Recently, Flyby drove up in his new Solstice and my only comment about it was it was a great day to ride in a convertible. I'm perfectly content riding in his SUV. There's a continual debate over why he only buys American cars vs. why I buy Japanese, but that's a different subject.

Anyway, the reason I have a car is to get from Point A to Point B. All I require is that the car be safe, reliable and not need a whole lot more than filling up the gas tank and taking it it for its regularly scheduled oil changes.

My 1998 Isuzu Rodeo was definitely that kind of car when I first got it. It was perfect for my lifestyle out in Colorado. It could go off-roading, wasn't afraid of blizzards and could haul all the accessories necessary when living the outdoor lifestyle (camping gear, ski equipment, mountain bike, etc.).

When I moved to DC, I admit that a SUV no longer suited my needs. It wasn't built for stop and go traffic and getting 13-14 miles to the gallon, it was admittedly a gas guzzler. But, it was fully paid off and it ran. Why get a new car, I thought?

A few months ago, I took it in for an oil change. I also wanted some other annoying tics to be addressed (at the tune of $600). My trusted mechanic took me aside and told me it was time to trade in for a new car. Note to all...when your mechanic is telling you he no longer wants your money to keep your car running, it's a sign that it's time for a new car.

Last week, while I was out of town, Izzy the Isuzu died. Literally. When I got back, it took me $400 to get it to a barely drivable state. I was feeling quite ghetto with the noise of the engine rattling so hard you could hear it from a mile away. Fearing for my safety and those of others driving around me, I swallowed hard and acknowledged the fact that I needed a new vehicle.

I did my research and determined that I wanted a used Prius (a new one was outside the price range I felt comfortable in). After months of sinking $50+ every week for a tank of gas (not to mention $13 to replenish the leaking antifreeze every time I filled up), I wanted a car with high gas mileage. In addition, I've mentioned my guilt over my carbon footprint. Buying a Prius still doesn't offset the carbon I add to the atmosphere through my travel but it does make me feel a bit better.

Not being stupid, I also had financing in place before I walked into any dealership. I was ready to cut a check to drive out of a dealer's lot in a new (used) car.

I did some internet searching and found a dealer that advertised a used 2006 Prius (not a great color but beggars can't be choosers) with low miles that fell right at the top of my price range. I should have known better.

When I got to the dealership, they informed me that "it was just sold yesterday". Hmmm, if that's the case I wonder why it's still advertised in the internet today? After showing me some other used Priuses (excuse me, but I told you I'm not looking for any used cars with more than 20K miles!), I was ready to walk.

Thankfully, AL's boyfriend Handyman was with me. He walked over to the new Priuses and saw that the sticker price with incentives was only $3K more than my top range. "JoJo, just see what they'll do for you."

I'm a pretty fierce negotiator (it's part of what I do it for a living), but their stalling tactics did nothing more than enrage me and get my blood pressure up to dangerous levels. Over the course of the 4.5 hours it took (remember, I already had financing in place!), I was ready to walk numerous times. Of course, the fact that the salesman kept addressing Handyman rather than me just aggrevated my anger. Only the calming presence of Handyman, kept me at the bargaining table. He kept me on track and when I was infuriated by a difference of $100 between their offer and mine, he reminded me that I was getting a great deal.

At the end of the day (literally), I drove out of the dealer lot with a brand new 2007 Prius, in the color I wanted, at exactly what I had expected to pay for the used Prius. Even with title, taxes, fees and delivery (plus I made them throw in five free years of emissions testing), I paid almost a thousand below sticker price.

But, I have to say that car buying is still one of the most distasteful experiences one has to go through as an adult. It'll be another 10 years before I'm ready to go through it again.

Philly Report

2007-07-08T02:00:00.000+01:00

I'm back from two weeks in Philadelphia where I've slept an average of 3-4 hours a night and am recovering from being "on" the entire time I was awake. This annual ritual for work drains me. I got home yesterday afternoon and have been sleeping and doing laundry. Oh, and I walked the dogs (AL left her doberman Aslan with me this weekend while she is out of town). That's about the extent of my activities.

My impressions of Philly?

Well, I love its restaurants - especially Morimoto's. I loved it so much I ate there four times. I ate at quite a number of Stephen Starr establishments - each excellent in its own way. There was El Vez (I ate there twice), Alma de Cuba and Striped Bass. I also ate at Brasserie Perrier and once the conference began, I had quite a number of meals at the Reading Terminal Market which was conveniently located below the Pennsylvania Convention Center. There was Mezze which served great salads, wraps and sandwiches. The Original Turkey which served these freshly carved roasted turkey sandwiches made with turkey, cranberry sauce and stuffing. Sounds gross, right? But, so yummy. There was Bielers Bakery for fresh apple fritters.

How is it that I don't weigh much more than when I left, you ask? Well, it's because I walked miles, literally, every day. In heels. Our folks were spread out as far as King of Prussia, the airport and even in NJ (granted that's just across the river). And we took up the entire convention center. Concrete is not kind to high heel wearers, my friends.

Philadelphia is great for history buffs like me - Independence Hall, Ben Franklin, the Liberty Bell. I got geeked out on it. I also had the amazing experience of being able to look at the Magna Carta by myself for 15 minutes. Our organization had sponsored the loan of the Magna Carta and I was able to attend a private reception. Unfortunately I was late hearing Darth Vader (aka James Earl Jones) recite the Declaration of Independence, but being shut out of the theater allowed me to be alone with the Magna Carta.

Lest you think it was all eating and receptions, my day went something like this - wake at 5:00 a.m., shower, review schedule, call boss to make sure she's ready, change, grab coffee, meet boss to attend 3-4 caucus meetings every morning, go to convention center to attend or lead meetings, give two sessions on online organizing, assist with crowd control management during presidential candidates' visits and try to keep up with work from my "real" job, session would end at 7 p.m. and typically we'd either debrief over dinner or attend a reception. Go to sleep at midnight or 1. Repeat.

Excuse me. Just typing this has exhausted me. I'm crawling back to bed.

Sartorial Question of the Day

2007-06-19T14:32:00.000+01:00

Skorts? As part of a business outfit? Really?

Personally, I just don't get them. Hey, looks like a skirt from the front, but surprise! It's really shorts, as you can see from the back. Just make up your mind!

One word - ick.

To The Owner of the Dog Who Bit My Dog

2007-06-18T00:46:00.000+01:00

Dear Dog Owner:

Hi, my name is JoJo. I am a dedicated dog owner of an adorable flat-coated retriever mix named Bella. I'm sure you've seen me around the neighborhood since I've seen you walking your rottweiler several times.

Now, Bella has a rep around the neighborhood as being somewhat of an odd character. She luuuurves people, which doesn't recommend her as a guard dog. She'll just invite any old intruder into the house and lick their cheek. On the other hand, with other dogs she reserves judgement. Small dogs are beneath her notice. Puppies she tolerates. Dogs her size or larger? Well, she'll either love them or hate them. She's an alpha dog and accepts no pretenders to her throne.

I recognize that she tends to try and scuffle so I keep her on a very short leash. I try to correct her aggressive behavior whenever she exhibits it. As a dog owner, it's my responsibility to make sure that my dog is behaved and under control. I warn other dog owners who try to approach with their dogs that Bella may or may not react well to their pet. Some still bring their dogs introduce them to Bella. Some of these dogs Bella likes, some of them she bares her teeth to. But, I make sure that I always have her under control.

Today, I was walking Bella and AL's doberman, Aslan who I'm dogsitting this weekend (Bella loves Aslan). I saw you walking your rottweiler coming up the opposite side of the street from where I was. I paid very little attention to you and your dog and instead I walked my dogs to the patch of grass where they usually do their business. All of a sudden, I heard you screaming your dog's name. I didn't catch the dog's name since your screams were so shrill.

I looked up and saw your dog run across the street toward mine. Then chaos ensued. First, it attacked Bella. Literally. It bit her. Aslan seeing this swiped at your rottie with one of his massive paws. Then your rottie bit Aslan on the back. Thankfully, Bella's dogwalker was dropping off one of her other clients and saw the fight. She and another gentleman, jumped out of their cars and ran to our rescue. Not before Bella jumped on your dog to get him off Aslan. Your dog then bit mine again.

You ran up and without a word, grabbed your dog's leash and left.

What the hell, lady? You don't lose control of your dog, watch it attack two other dogs, grab its leash and just walk away. Dog owner etiquette demands that you at least ask if everyone was ok. I and my two human rescuers were left stunned and speechless as we watched you hustle your dog away.

Listen, these things happen. I accept that. But, here's the thing. You see, your dog drew blood from Bella. She has a puncture wound on her side. I don't think it's serious but I would be much more comfortable knowing if your dog was current on its shots.

Now, I have to wait around to see if my dog's lethargy is because she's recovering from the shock of being attacked or if it's something more serious. If it is more serious, then off to the vet we go. I'm not worried about the cost if this should happen. As a responsible dog owner, I got Bella pet insurance just to cover these types of incidents. I just don't want to have to have her go through any unnecessary procedures due to the fact I don't know if you're dog has been properly vaccinated.

I've posted an inquiry on our community web group asking folks to identify you. I've now had to embarrass you and your dog publically for your failure to do what every responsible dog owner should know to do. I know I'll find out who you are in the next couple of days. You see we dog owners, especially in this neighborhood, know one another. You and your dog will be the receipient of some very nasty looks, if not some comments.

Sorry that I had to out you. But, I hope you become a better dog owner.

Sincerely,

JoJo

Thoughts of Dad on Father's Day

2007-06-17T20:37:00.000+01:00

Father's Day this year wasn't as hard as last year's. Perhaps that old adage is true...you know the one - time does heal all wounds.

I've always believed that you snatch at those moments in time where you recognize you're truly happy. You snatch at them because those moments don't happen very often and you want to remember them.

Today as I remembered my dad, I was surprised at the large number of those truly happy moments that involved him. Those moments are like favorite snapshots - one's I keep coming back to over and over again.

I remember his laughter. He had a great laugh - a full on belly laugh. A lot of those moments I recall are filled with his laughter.

One of my earliest and favorite memories are of the two of us on the beach. The waves came crashing onto the shore and in my 3 or 4 year old mind, they were terrifying. I clung to my father's leg and screamed each time one would come near. I remember my father swinging my up into his strong arms and asking why I was so afraid. I told him with childish logic that I was afraid the sea would swallow me whole.

He gave out one of his great laughs and said that he wouldn't let that happen. As I clung ever harder to him, he pried my arms and legs away from his body and swung me around above the surf. At first, I was terrified. But then, the beautiful sensation of flying through the air and saltwater spraying on my face overtook the terror. I remember letting out a belly laugh of my own and shouted, "More! More!"

There are other memories - ones filled with happiness and laughter. I guess that's an indication of what a great dad he was to me - most of my memories are good ones.

Dietary Restrictions

2007-06-15T15:11:00.000+01:00

I threw out all my fat clothes last year while I was training for the marathon.

Unfortunately, due to work being impossible (leaving in a week for two weeks in Philly) and being injured (damn plantar facsiitis!), I've not been able to exercise.

I've also been attending a lot of political events and fundraisers (3-4 a week). Other than the odd carrot stick, you're served pretty fatty food (beef skewers, chicken wings, cheese tray) and alcohol. Also, I've been ordering out pretty much every night, pizza from our local pizzeria being my dinner of choice. Other than the diet soda, my refrigerator contents closely mirrored that of a typical guy's (condiments and beer).

Recently, I noticed that my clothes were getting a bit tight. Out of curiosity I got on the scale. That sound you might have heard on Monday morning was my scream of abject horror.

So, in an effort to lose some much needed pounds, I'm back to keeping a food diary. Calorie count is a great (and free!) online resource. It keeps me disciplined about what I put in my mouth. It's kinda hard to write down three slices of NY style pizza at 700 calories per slice knowing that my actual caloric intake should be 1600 calaries for the day. It also grades the food that you put in your mouth - obviously pizza is a D-, whereas a nice spinach salad is an A.

Thus far, being more aware has resulted in a three pound loss for the week. I miss my pizza, though.

Sign of Summer in DC

2007-06-08T14:24:00.000+01:00

You know summer is here when on Friday morning, I'm able to drive from my house to the office in less than 15 minutes. Typically, during rush hour, this drive would take 30 minutes.

I knew there had to be some tradeoff for the hot and humid weather!

Where's the Fun?

2007-06-05T02:45:00.000+01:00

It's mid-year and it's time for an assessment of the World of JoJo. In a nutshell, I need to shake things up. My contentment has settled into a malaise and that's not good.

How have a I come to this unfortunate conclusion?

I'm in worse shape than I was a year ago. Granted, I dislocated my elbow and then I have plantar fasciitis but still, there's no denying it. I'm fat.
I haven't been anywhere new. Seriously, this is upsetting me. I should have at least have had one trip done this year. Other than my annual ski vacation, I've gone nowhere except where work has sent me.
I'm exactly where I was with Flyby a year ago. I'm pretty sure I'm ready for more - either from him or someone else.
I'm BORED!

I promised myself that 2007 would be the Year of Fun. So far, I haven't lived up to that promise.

I need to kick myself in the ass and get out there and live.

When I Said I Wanted More Sunlight, This Isn’t What I Had in Mind

2007-05-28T20:24:00.000+01:00

I decided to spend this Memorial Day weekend relaxing before my next round of nonstop travel which begins on Tuesday. My friend AL and her boyfriend have been extremely generous by taking Bella whenever I’ve been called out of town. So I volunteered to watch AL’s 90 lb. red Doberman Aslan this weekend.

Being dragged through the streets of my neighborhood by two large dogs was the least of my adventures this weekend.

This was my Saturday...

8:00 a.m.
Woken up by dogs demanding to be let outside. Complied since they were crushing my chest. Decided to do some weeding and watering of the garden for a couple of hours.

11:30 a.m.
Inside, slaking my thirst after hours of tilling the soil. Hear horrendous crashing sound – like a cannon being shot. Aslan, being a purebred neurotic dog, proceeds to go crazy by running in tight circles and barking. I think he’s having a nervous breakdown. Bella joins in on the fun. It takes a few minutes to get some semblance of order.

11:38 a.m.
I walk out my front door. HOLY SHIT!

All I could see were tree branches and leaves. I couldn't get out of my house. So I went out my patio door and walked around the building. What greeted me was the sight of a huge branch leaning against the roof of my front patio.There's a small crowd of my neighbors outside. As soon as they see me, I'm inundated with questions as to whether I'm ok. Everyone heard the noise of the branch falling.

Other than Aslan still barking like a maniac, I'm fine I assure them.

11:40 a.m.
Association Afterhours: How can I help you?
JoJo: I need someone out here immediately. A branch fell on my roof and I'm not sure that it's safe. I need someone to assess the situation.
Association Afterhours: I'll have someone call you within 45 minutes.
JoJo: Excuse me? There is a tree on my roof right now.
Association Afterhours: Unfortunately ma'am, we're an answering service. We'll call the person who is on call and have them call you.
JoJo: Well, please have them call me as soon as they can. I need to make sure that the patio won't be collapsing.

11:52 a.m.
At the behest of my neighbors, I decided that waiting 45 minutes to determine the safety of my patio wasn't an option. Especially in light of the fact that smaller branches were falling off the tree and it was making an ominous creaking noise. So I called 911.

911: 911, what's your emergency?
JoJo: Hi, this is JoJo at (address)...I have a branch that's sheared off the tree in front of my house and it's leaning against my front patio. I can see that it's done some damage to the top of the roof and I want to make sure that it's safe.
911: Is everyone out of the building?
JoJo: Yes, it's just me.
911: Do you know if it's a City of Alexandria or a Parkfairfax tree?
JoJo: No. Why?
911: If it's not, then our fire department can't do anything unless lives were in danger.
JoJo: You've got to be kidding me.
911: No ma'am. But we'll send someone out to take a look.

I tell my neighbors the news and they shake their heads in disbelief. One of them suggests I start taking photos in order to document the damage if I need to file an insurance claim. Good idea. As I take the photos, I find the culprit. The tree was rotted at the juncture of the branch.

12:02 p.m. - phone rings
JoJo: Hello?
Roberto: Hi, this is Roberto with Parkfairfax. You have a branch on your roof?
JoJo: Roberto, it's not a branch as much as a very large part of the tree has fallen. I can clearly see gutter damage. The tree is still dropping even more branches and is making this creaking noise.
Roberto: Ok. Well, I'm at another job right now so I'll be over in an hour.
JoJo: What!?! Roberto, this tree is making noises like it's gonna fall over.
Roberto: Well, it's only the branch that's on the roof, right?
JoJo: Yes.
Roberto: So, I'll be there in an hour with a saw.

12:15 p.m.
Alexandria Police show up. The nice policeman confirms that the tree does indeed belong to Parkfairfax and since no one is in physical danger, they can't do anything. Besides, he kindly points out, I have a back door. He does say, however, that he wouldn't recommend that I go inside since there's clearly roof damage.

12:35 p.m.
Roberto finally shows and he proceeds to scratch his head and say, "It's a bit bigger than a branch."

Uhm, yea Roberto. You don't know this about me, but I'm not prone to histrionics.

Roberto confers with the nice policeman and proceeds to call the condo association's landscape manager.

1:15 p.m.
Landscape manager shows up. Doesn't say a word to me. Looks at damage, speaks to Roberto and proceeds to drive off. WTF?

Roberto proceeds to hang some caution tape around my entire unit. It's not safe. I point out to him that I'm the only person who lives in the unit and since my front door is inaccessible, I could figure it out myself without the tape. Roberto shrugs and tells me that's what the landscape manager told him to do.

He further informs me that the manager was trying to call the tree removal company to take down the branch but was having a hard time getting a hold of anyone.

2:15 p.m.
The crowd has dispersed. Even Roberto is gone. I've decided to go back into the house. I have a neighbor who lives above me (thankfully she's out of town for the weekend) and fatalistically tell myself that the tree would have to go through her ceiling in order to damage my interior.

2:32 p.m.
Roberto calls to tell me that the tree removal company would be arriving around 5. Again, I assure myself that the tree would have to go through my upstairs neighbor's unit first.

4:54 p.m.
The tree removal guys are here. I walk around the building to greet them. They assure me that they will get the branches removed as quickly as possible. After reviewing the damage, they determine that the branch will have to be removed all the way to the base of the tree.

I watch them work with interest and I'm in awe of their tree climbing abilities.

As they work on removing the tree, branch by branch, I'm able to assess the damage done to my garden. At least half the garden is crushed.

7:00 p.m.
The tree removal guys are done and all that's left is less than half a tree.
When I said I wanted more sun for my flower garden, this isn't what I had in mind.

What's Your Carbon Footprint?

2007-05-24T15:16:00.000+01:00

I admit I'm not a very good steward of our environment.

Sometimes, I don't recycle. I drive to work rather than take public transportation. And I drive a gas guzzling SUV, which just this morning cost me $54 to fill the gas tank.

I've recently been watching Planet Earth and have been stunned by the visual beauty of our planet. Just yesterday, I was watching Part V, Ice Worlds and wept over the plight of a polar bear who ended up perishing because the ice melted much sooner than is normal.

As I was spending this Friday's Happy Hour equivalent by pumping more gas into my tank this morning, I got to thinking...how is my lifestyle impacting my carbon footprint? Using a nifty Carbon Calculator, I found out that I have over twice the impact as the average person!

Granted, if I didn't travel for work as much as I do I'd only be higher than the national average rather than much higher. But, given that I can't really not travel (it's a pretty integral part of my job) I've got to come up with a better way to offset my carbon footprint.

Getting a new car isn't an option. I've paid off my current one and quite frankly, I can't afford the monthly payments on a new one. I'd consider public transportation but unfortunately, I never know when I'll be able to leave the office and the last bus from the Pentagon to my house is at 7.

Suggestions?

Home Improvement Project #521 - The Patio

2007-05-20T17:12:00.001+01:00

Back in the day, I was a happy renter. None of the places I rented were ever perfect. But they didn't have to be. I paid a reasonable (until I moved to DC!) amount of rent in exchange for a place to live.

All I had to do was be a good tenant. Pretty easy. If there was a problem with the plumbing, I called the landlord. The deck need fixing? Call the landlord. It was great!

Sure, the light fixtures were often ugly and painting the walls were often not an option but I didn't have to worry about curb appeal, property taxes, condo associations or the nagging problems with owning a unit in a "historic" neighborhood.

Now, that I've become a homeowner I find that my weekends aren't spent lazing in the backyard, going out with friends or catching a movie. Instead, I'm working on one home improvement project or another. This weekend was spent mulching my much admired but much hated (by me and only because of the labor involved) front garden.

Becoming a homeowner has brought out the perfectionist tendencies in me. Now that the house is "mine" (granted the bank owns a majority share), I want it to reflect my tastes. It goes beyond the light fixtures (which were the first things I changed) and wall colors. I want to bring out the best in what is already a great unit. If money were no object, I'd completely gut and remodel the bathroom, add more improvements to the already recently remodeled kitchen (drop the ceiling, recess the lights, add another cabinet above the washer/dryer, repaint the walls and redo the floors), and build a freeform slate patio.

But, because money is always a consideration, I find myself doing constant cost benefit analysis of whether an improvement would mean that I'd get my money back when I eventually sell. You see, I realize that this isn't going to be the last house I ever buy. I want to have a family and that requires a bit more than a 800 square foot condo.

My brother, the real estate expert, tells me that where I'd get my money back is the kitchen and bath. Though my bathroom is sorely in need of updating I don't spend an enormous amount of time in the bathroom due to the fact that a) it's tiny and b) I don't spend a lot of time on my hair and makeup. I can live with it the way it is, for now.

Nope, now that the weather has turned warmer and I've purchased a spanking new grill, what I want is a new patio. I have a patio unit that opens up to a huge, beautfiul green open space - perfect for outdoor entertaining or reading the newspapers on a sunny Sunday morning like today.

Other homeowners with patio units have laid down brick or slate or some other stone patio. Some are basic and some are absolutely works of landscaping art. Depending on the type of unit, some patios are small (approximately 10x15) and others, like mine are very large (16x28). Mine is a blank slate (ok, a grassy area) just waiting for my personal stamp.

So being the thorough perfectionist I am, I got a multitude of opinions and bids on a number of potential options. Whatever I choose, it's going to be a fairly expensive and drawn out proposition. It begins with drawing out the plans for the patio and getting approval from the condo board. BTW, if you live in a historic neighborhood, EVERYTHING needs approval by the condo board. It's a process that will take at least a month (assuming everything goes right) and can potentially take two months (assuming normal and customary delays and fuckups).

I've learned my lesson from the kitchen remodel. I'm contracting the entire business out. I don't care if I save money by doing some of the work myself. It's simply not worth the stress and frustration to me.

My only concern is that once the patio is finally completed (June or July), it may be too hot and humid for me to enjoy it.

Art of Laziness

2007-05-18T19:24:00.000+01:00

JoJo, what are you doing?

Nothing.

Why are you still in bed? It's almost 2:30 in the afternoon!

I told you...I'm doing nothing.

Are you feeling ok?

I'm feeling great. I'm just enjoying doing nothing.

I know it's kind of yucky outside but maybe you want to go for a walk?

Nope. I'm perfectly comfortable here in bed.

Why aren't you at work?

I scheduled today as a vacation day two weeks ago so I could do nothing. Actually, it was supposed to be yesterday as well but I couldn't get out of work.

Uhm, most people schedule vacation days to, oh I don't know, go on vacation?

This is my vacation.

JoJo, you haven't left your bed except to go walk your dog and go to the bathroom.

Yup. That's right.

That's not a vacation!

It is to me.

So what have you been doing in bed all day?

Unfortunately, the most fun thing to do in bed isn't an option as Flyby is out of town. But, it's been swell, really. I've been contemplating the sky outside my window, listening to the dog breathe deeply in her sleep, enjoying the birds chirping, reading intermittently. Really it's about the art of laziness.

Laziness is an art form?

Yes, it is.

In what way?

I'm hardwired to be productive. Letting my brain and body do absolutely nothing is very hard. It takes a lot of willpower to do nothing. Very zen really. I think it's kinda healthy, especially in light of the ridiculous amount of activity I've been engaged in over the past month and a half.

So, when does this nothingness end?

Oh, probably tomorrow morning. I'm getting bored with it already. Suffering for art is hard work, but someone has to do it.

The Gardening Conspiracy

2007-05-13T23:59:00.000+01:00

WHAT?!?!

Uhm, JoJo, you have twigs in your hair and you're filthy...

I know that.

Why do you have twigs in your hair and why are you filthy? You hate dirt.

Yes, I hate dirt. But I've been told that I have to touch it in order to garden.

But, you told us you don't like gardening.

Yes, I know.

So, why were you gardening?

My goddamn flowers died and I had to plant new ones.

Wait...didn't you just plant those flowers? And didn't you spend a lot of money on them?

Don't remind me. They died. Circle of life and all that.

But that really doesn't explain why you're so filthy.

I had roots.

Excuse me?

Roots. You know, the things that grow underground. When I initially pulled the ugly evergreen out of my front garden, I apparently didn't get all of the roots.

OK. But...

Listen, I get a little obsessed sometimes.

A little?

Ok, a lot. So when I dug a hole for my new flowers. I happen to hit a root so I tried to pull it out.

What's in that huge cardboard box?

Those would be roots.

(looking into box) There's enough wood in there to start a pretty nice sized bonfire.

Yes, I know. It so happened that when I pulled that first root out, it was attached to another one. Which was attached to some more roots. I kept pulling until every flower that I had previously planted was displaced. But I won the war.

JoJo, these are some pretty big pieces of root.

(maniacal grin) Yes, and they're all dead.

I hate to ask...

Then don't.

How many of the flowers which had survived the initial planting are still alive?

(sigh) None of them. I had to get all brand new flowers. The digging of the roots disturbed them.

So you had to buy even more flowers?

Yes.

May I ask how much you spent?

More than the first planting. It's a conspiracy.

A conspiracy?

Yes. The gardening center has no interest in telling you how to do things right. They just leave you flailing, so all you do is come back time and time again to buy more stuff. You buy more stuff, hoping against all hope, that it's the right stuff. But, it never is. So you come back again. This is why it's a conspiracy.

JoJo, calm down! Look, your garden looks lovely. So colorful, so bright! Those Gerber daisies look great.

Calm?!? Do you realize how much more work I have to do? I still have to put mulch down.

Okay, then. I guess now's not the time to mention this.

WHAT!?!

You haven't even started on your back patio garden yet.

(Loud scream of frustration) I KNOW!!!

I'm just going to slowly walk away.

Do that. Hey, if you're going out can you pick up a few more bags of topsoil?

All People'd Out

2007-05-06T14:00:00.000+01:00

I'm on my couch right now, newspapers spread below my feet, tv tuned to CBS Sunday morning, dog curled against my leg. It's blissful.

I posted recently about my personality type. One aspect that people find surprising is how close to the borderline I am when measuring my extrovert vs. introvert. I've been known to make friends in a grocery line. I enjoy meeting new people and find crowds to be energizing.

But, I find as I get older, my introvert tendencies become stronger. I need to be alone to recharge. I find myself comfortable in my own company, sometimes preferring it to the company of others.

I received some lovely invitations this weekend - Gold Cup, Cinco de Mayo parties, and dinner invitations. I turned all of them down.

After weeks of traveling, meeting with various types of groups and individuals, and having to be "on" all the time, all I wanted to do this weekend was be alone. I've avoided contact with other humans. I've said hi to some people I passed while walking Bella, but other than that I've been silent. I've needed the stillness.

What’s It Like to Be Me?

2007-05-04T20:48:00.000+01:00

I've taken five Myers-Briggs Type Indicator tests over the course of my professional career. My results are always the same - ENTJ. I find it fascinating to discover the personality types of the people in my life.

I love this ENTJ description from the book, “The 16 Personality Types: Descriptions for Self-Discovery”. It describes me perfectly.

What’s it like to be you?

Not organizing and not problem solving is hard for me. I am most comfortable in the idea development stage—the push for putting things together, new solutions, and improvements to take us to the next step. I have several dimensions I work in.

My focus has always been on finding what’s preventing us from doing what we need to do. If it’s lack of confidence or motivation, the solution is building that. If it’s lack of skills, it’s building skills. If it’s rules or other inhibitors, I work to eliminate those. I value people, but I am quick to judge their value to the system and quick to judge my personal desire to be involved with them. I stand off if they don’t meet my standards quickly, which can make me hard to know, and I think I am unwilling to get into other people’s motivations.

My response to making a mistake is, “Did you learn anything? If so, great, it was worth it, and don’t make the same mistake again.” This kind of critiquing is easy for me, and I admire—and like to have around me—people who have a real, genuine concern for others and who see the positives. But then there is a time when I sit back and say people have to get on board with the way I see things because it’s the right way to go. It took me a while to learn the value of cutting people some slack. Although I appear to dominate, when people get to know me, I really don’t. I let them do their own thing. With people I judge as friendly or want to get to know, I open up quickly, although I don’t actually go out and do things to make others like me.

I respect wisdom and kindness and competent, knowledgeable people who are willing to share with others. I won’t buy into anything just because the person who says it is the leader. It has to make sense to me—consistent and free of contradictions. If it’s a plan, I have to believe it’s doable. If it’s a philosophy, it must match mine from the outset. I think integrity means keeping one’s word and sticking to my espoused principles even when it’s easier not to. Honesty is important.

I really value progress, learning, and knowledge and have an intense need to know things. Probably this is where I get myself into a lot of projects because it is the opportunity to try something new. I tend to over research, and I have an innate ability to handle a great number of diverse things almost simultaneously. I can watch TV and finish a project and read a magazine all at the same time. I think I don’t know how to relax. I can sit down and actually go through and identify the problem and gather alternatives and do a mental brainstorm by myself to come up with different alternatives. I force myself to see if I am not looking at something disjointedly or parochially before I come to a conclusion. And I try to look at the small things in order to look at the big picture, just using plain logic and connecting the dots to prognosticate what the likely outcomes are. Often the first conclusion was the right one anyway.

I actually believe you can do anything if you set your mind to it and are willing to pay the price. I will ask myself if I am willing to pay the price.

I tend to push to get the job done, sometimes without regard to others’ feelings, and I hate repeating myself. Listening is a problem for me because I have probably already thought out things thoroughly, done my homework, and reached an answer before I even get to the stage of presenting it to other people. Similarly, I may get upset with others’ behavior, but it is almost never personalized, which can be a drawback because then I haven’t considered what caused the behavior and if I should make some kind of reconciliation.

I am my own worst critic. I want perfect achievement of myself, and sometimes I have a fear of suddenly waking up and being known as someone who doesn’t really know anything.

I love to discover new approaches and really prefer creating and beginning things, organizing projects and programs, and then teaching someone else how to do them and handing them off. Although if someone has a better idea, then let’s go with it, and if the system’s values and mechanisms line up for me, whoever the leader is, then I guess I am probably one of the most loyal. Probably my goals are patience, wisdom, and discipline—wisdom to focus on the right priorities and correct decisions and patience to take the time to listen.

That last sentence is key. I've found that knowing who I am doesn't mean I'll actually do anything with that knowledge!

I'll Get Back to You...

2007-05-03T00:17:00.000+01:00

So JoJo, where have you been?

Where haven't I been? Let's see, since the beginning of April I've been to Nashville, DC, Houston, DC, Chicago, DC, Boston, DC, Nashville, DC, and just got back from Houston yesterday. Kind of makes me sound like a flight attendant, doesn't it?

Wow. You've been kind of busy.

I'll say! Between work, my mother's 60th birthday, gardening, dating, and recovering from my latest injury, I'm lucky I know what day of the week it is. Wait what is today?

What?!? You're injured - AGAIN?

(sigh) Yes. I apparently have plantar fasciitis. Happened about a month ago. It's quite dispiriting. I'm banned from the type of training I'll need to do in order to run another marathon. I'm also not allowed to run at all for another 2-3 weeks. So, I'm getting gloriously fat again. Sitting on one's ass all day on airplanes and concourses is not conducive to svelteness.

So, what's the latest on the love life?

Haven't I just told you about my travel schedule last month?!?

Actually, I'm pretty sure that L&O and I are just not compatible as a couple. He simply doesn't make me laugh. It's rather sad, really. He's so perfect on paper.

On the other hand, a couple of weeks ago Flyby and I had a lovely day where we were able to just hang out like a normal couple - cuddled on the couch, went out to dinner, came back and watched some tv, and went to bed. We made a pact not to stress out about work for 24 hours and we managed to spend some quality time together. It was great.

I told him if we were able to schedule time like this just once a month, I'd be content to continue dating him. Of course, I took off for Nashville the next day and we're not going to be able to see one another until next week at the earliest. The saga continues...Tune in for further updates!

And your mother's birthday?

Well, it was a whopper as we kids expected it to be. At the end of the day, she was thrilled that we made the effort. We went out and splashed on a new car for her. Currently, she's continuing with her birthday tour in Korea where she's being feted by her brother and sisters.

Wait...what's this about gardening?

I got guilted into planting some flowers ($200! who knew posies were so expensive?) about a month ago by my neighbors. Of course, two days after planting, the temperature plummeted below freezing at night. I spent several evenings carefully covering my flowers with sheets to prevent frost. I've been told that I've also been signed up for a community garden plot. As to why, I still haven't been able to uncover the answer.

In my opinion, there's nothing relaxing about gardening. It's just another thing that's designed to bring guilt and stress into my life. How can I get my much needed sleep when I get home at midnight knowing that if I don't water my garden, I'll just be causing death? It's a conspiracy I tell you!

So what's next?

Work has me headed off to a Tuesday meeting near Norfolk, VA. Since it's at least a two and a half hour drive, I'm going down there on Monday night. Then, amazingly enough...my next trip for work isn't until the 21st. In fact, there's a one week chunk of time on my calendar beginning on the 14th where there are NO APPOINTMENTS.

Shhh....don't tell anyone.

Any big plans for your unscheduled time?

Oh, I don't know...hanging out at home with my dog, catching up on tv, reading and maybe, just maybe, getting more sex out of Flyby (if schedules permit).

I'll get back to you...

Don't Spread Ignorance

2007-04-19T15:24:00.000+01:00

What happened this week at Virginia Tech was horribly tragic. There aren't any words that can ease the grief of the parents, siblings, family and friends of the victims. Those that were witness to the terrible event will carry that day with them forever.

But, today I need to comment on the aftermath of the shootings and its affect on the Korean-American community.

Koreans are a proud, self-sufficient, hard-working people. They have a tight-knit community and are insular, almost to a fault. Koreans come to this country, not for the opportunities for themselves, but so that their children can have a better life. I grew up knowing a wonderful gentleman who was a physics professor back in Korea but worked 14 hours a day as a landscaper so that his children would have access to a good education. My own father went from a white collar management job to work as a steelworker in Gary, IN. My mother hadn't worked before she came here - she was brought up to be a housewife. Yet, in order to make ends meet, she spent 10 hours a day on her feet cutting up chickens for packaging. These aren't unusual stories in our community.

And as a community, we take pride in the successes of those from our midst. It reflects well on all of us. We pride ourselves in being the "model" minority. So, when it was disclosed that the shooter at Virginia Tech was a Korean national, the community as a whole recoiled in shame and horror. Because, right or wrong, his actions reflected on us.

Washington State Sen. Paull Shin, D-Edmonds, apologized to fellow lawmakers and legislative staff members, first at a private prayer meeting, then in Senate chambers. His fellow legislators told him he had no need to apologize. Shin, he felt compelled to do so because of his acceptance in America and his leadership position in the Korean American community.

It doesn't help this collective guilt and shame when on social networking sites such as Facebook and Friendster there is a large amount of hate being spewed at Asians in general, and Koreans specifically. There are reports of children coming home in tears because of the taunting that they receive from their classmates. "Don't get her too mad, she may shoot you!" is a common "joke" being said.

The LA Times reported, "It's a lack of intelligence to think that one lunatic shoots up a university and we're going to go after all the Koreans," John Kobylt of "The John & Ken Show" on KFI-AM (640) told his audience Tuesday afternoon. He poked fun at Korean Americans' self-blame, accusing them of "playing the race card…. Now look who's stereotyping."

What happened in Blacksburg, VA was the act of a single, deranged individual. He was a mentally disturbed man who happened to be Korean. Cho Seung-hui is about as representative of the Korean community as the Columbine shooters were of the white community. That is to say, he’s not at all.

Rather than debating the cultural/racial reasons to the killings, let's spend our collective energy figuring out how to help those left behind and how to find a way to ensure that this kind of masssacre doesn't happen again.

Ladies and Gentlement, May I Introduce...

2007-04-11T12:37:00.000+01:00

Law & Order. Heretofore to be known as L&O.

Just by introducing L&O, I may be dooming him to the relationship dustbin, but this blog is here not only for my entertainment but yours.

Believe it or not, I met L&O through an online dating service. Let me tell you, gals. Don’t be so quick to dismiss this venue to find quality men. Remember, this is how I found Flyby (the Renaissance fighter pilot geek stud). L&O is a very successful, well respected defender of the American constitution. Can’t say much more than that but let’s just say that his security clearance is probably as high as Flyby’s.

I had received a notice that my subscription to said dating service was expiring and just for kicks, I went back into my profile to see if there had been any activity. Lo and behold, there was a clever e-mail from L&O.

Given this e-mail appeared at the height of the Flyby frustrations (hey, I still haven’t seen Flyby except for a total of 4 hours in the past TWO months!), I decided to start communications.

I love good writing and we quickly progressed from our personal e-mails to e-mails via our blackberries. We decided after a couple of weeks of flirting through e-mails to meet in person.

Quite frankly, I don’t think I’ve dated anyone in such a leisurely pace in my entire life. We’ve had three real dates – preplanned excursions involving dinner and drinks – where it’s been evident he’s put some thought and effort.

First date was drinks at a typical Washington power broker type restaurant – a place where you go not for the food, but to be seen. Conversation was wide ranging and we were having a good time so we continued onto dinner. He’s interesting and often has a different point of view and is erudite. We actually didn’t end our date until past midnight (with only a peck as a goodnight). It was a great date but…he didn’t make me laugh.

A huge concern to me as laughter is a key ingredient in my life. I chalked it up to first date nerves. Besides, I had other things on my mind. I was off to my annual ski holiday.

I was convinced by my friends during the ski trip that I had to give L&O three dates before giving him the heave-ho.

I got back to DC and there was an e-mail from L&O waiting for me when I landed. We went on date #2 to another rather formal restaurant. Again, great conversation but he again, he didn’t make me laugh.

This didn’t bode well. I was reluctant to give him another date, but my best friend SM convinced me to keep my promise of giving him three dates before kicking him to the curb.

Then, the breakthrough last Monday.

I got a cute e-mail from L&O asking if I wanted to play hooky. It was a beautiful day outside (the last one DC had before this cold snap) and Congress was in recess and things were slow for him.

Sure, I was game. I left work at 5 (I know, I know – it’s sad that this is what I consider playing hooky lately) and met him for drinks at a restaurant with an outdoor patio. I don’t know what it was – but things were less formal and there were glimmers of a sense of humor that could mesh with mine.

It was enough that I’m willing to give him a date #4. That is, if he calls.

Is It Wrong to Be Content?

2007-04-10T04:45:00.000+01:00

I’m in a fairly contented frame of mind.

There are the usual annoyances of life. Sure, I’d love to be a size 8 instead of size 12. I’d love to make more money. I’d like to get more respect at work. It would be fabulous if my body would stay uninjured for say six months (the latest is plantar fasciitis – my orthopedic surgeon jokingly thanked me for the new wing of his house). But, all in all…I’m content.

But, is this a bad place to be?

I’ve always lived my life in a sort of rollercoaster kind of way – either through my efforts and decisions or that of fate. I’d be lying if I said that there wasn’t an element of enjoyment in that I generally have very little idea what the next crisis du jour would bring. It’s exciting and challenging. And goodness knows, I thrive on excitement and challenge.

Lately though, I find myself reluctant to rock the boat, so to speak. Excitement and challenge aren’t as seductive to me. I like my life and more importantly, myself. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to make a statement like that. So, I’m willing to leave things as they are for now.

I think this is a major reason why things between Flyby and I continue to stay in the status quo. L&O complicates things only if I allow our flirtation to blossom into a romantic relationship. Plus, unlike Flyby he doesn’t make me readily laugh at myself.

I know that I can’t continue to coast. This isn’t the way I lead my life and eventually this sense of ennui will pass and I’ll be impatient to DO things again. This could happen tomorrow for all I know.

But for now, I’m content. Is this wrong?

Spring Cleaning

2007-04-09T15:18:00.000+01:00

I love spring cleaning.

I don't like the actual physical labor of cleaning but I love the way everything is neatly in its place and surfaces gleam. I spent my Easter weekend systematically cleaning my home and tossing out things I no longer use, have a need for or didn't know what the heck it was. Of course, I know that this won't last. I'm not a neat freak and unfortunately, my dog sheds...a lot.

Today I'm off to visit one of my least favorite places - Texas. The one thing sustaining me is that this trip is less than 24 hours and I'll be coming home to a spotless house.

Listen, Lone Star lovers. I've tried. I really have! I've visited almost every place in Texas - big and small. The list is extensive - Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Harlingen, Laredo, Crawford, Austin, El Paso...I can keep going. But, I simply have had very few good experiences in Texas.

Anyway, spring cleaning...

Now that my house is clean, I have to tear down the cobwebs and get rid of the excesses in the rest of my life. Primarily, I have to make a decision regarding my lovelife. Flyby or Mr. Law and Order (to be known as Mr. L&O from this point forward)?

Decisions, decisions.

Busy, Busy

2007-04-04T14:38:00.000+01:00

Ok. I know. I suck. I haven't posted in forever. It's not that there isn't anything to talk about. But, I literally don't have time to blog.

So quick hits...

Skiing pretty much sucked until the last day I was there. Thank God for the snow. Was bored out of my mind since there's not much else to do but ski up in Beaver Creek. This is why I'm not one to laze about on the beach on vacation. I need to be doing something active.
Flyby and I are still in relationship limbo. We saw each other for less than two hours last week and nothing has been resolved.
In the meantime I've started to kinda, sorta see someone else. Is it romantic? I don't know. He's just so NICE. I know, I know. It could be the kiss of death. Plus, he didn't make me laugh. I did promise SM that I'd give him at least three dates. Last night was our third (and I thought final) date. Amazingly, I had a great time and I chuckled a few times. It's enough to give him another shot.
Hell Travel Month begins - Nashville, Houston, Chicago, Shreveport, Chicago, Nashville. All before the end of the month.

Snow Snob

2007-03-21T16:36:00.000Z

After living in Colorado for eight years, I've become a snow snob. Unless conditions are ideal, I don't like to go out. Ideal is freshly groomed trails after a nice dumping of snow under a sunny sky.

Spring skiing is fun...The sun is bright, you're skiing without jackets and the sky is bright blue.

The downside is that the snow is icy until around 11 (I hate skiing on ice) and then when it softens, you have to work a bit more on your turns. So I get to sleep in everyday since it's not worth getting up for first tracks at 8:30.

I'm sore after three hard days of skiing in spring conditions. And my nose is sunburned. The weather report shows the same - 55+ degrees. But it's overcast. So I don't anticipate the snow being very soft.

Being the snow snob I am, I'm in the midst of an internal debate with myself as to whether or not to bother strapping on the planks today. Considering it's 10:30 and I'm still in my pjs, I'm thinking probably not.

Sounds like a spa day to me.

Hell Followed by a Perfect Day

2007-03-19T03:42:00.000Z

Friday Evening

I got to DCA, checked in (middle seat - what the hell?) checked my ski sportstube and my bag (49.5 lbs = mad packing skillz) and breezed through security. Though flights were being cancelled left and right, UA 663 nonstop to Denver was still showing ontime for departure at 5:00 p.m. I boarded the plane at 4:25. We took off at 9:00.

That’s right. I waited over 4 hours on a hot, stuffy plane. In a middle seat.

I landed in Denver at 10:30 p.m. (12:30 a.m. Eastern). Landing was not a comfort to me since I still had 130 miles to drive that evening.

Thankfully, my bag and skis showed up fairly quickly in baggage claim and by the time I was on the highway in my rental car, it was 11:15. I drove like the proverbial bat out of hell and made it to Beaver Creek at 1:30 in the morning.

To my chagrin, I found that the heat wasn’t working and there were no clean sheets in the house. Too tired to care, I fell asleep on the couch in the living room (in a four bedroom house, no less!).

Not a good way to begin my vacation.

Saturday

My best friend SM (aka Supermama) and her son Buddy came up from Denver to join me for the weekend.

Originally she was going to bring her new boyfriend, Mr. Thriller, and they were going to do a couples spa package at the Allegria Spa at the Park Hyatt. Because Mr. Thriller and she fought prior to the weekend, he got uninvited and I got to take his place for this day of indulgence.

Since SM booked Buddy in children's ski school for the day we ran out of the house so we could drop him off at 9:00. Since our day wasn't scheduled to begin until noon, we decided to brunch at the Park Hyatt's Bivan restaurant.

I love hanging out with SM. We caught up, talked about everything, ate like pigs and drank like fish. Our bill for brunch was over $150, and only a small portion of it was for actual food.

We went early to the spa to indulge in something called the aqua sanitas water ritual. I can't do it justice by trying to explain it but needless to say, it rocked. Then, we were guided to a room with two vichy showers and two massage beds. We each had a foot bath, warm milk and honey sugar scrub, a rainshower rinse, and a massage. Holy mother of God, I want to do it all over again.

We got out around 3:00 but Buddy didn't get out of his class until 4. So what did we do? We sat outside on the patio of the Park Hyatt, ordered a couple more bloody mary's and watch the skiers come down the mountain.

Since Beaver Creek is so much closer to the sun (a mile and a half above sea level), 55 degrees feels much warmer than it does in DC. We chucked our jackets but saw others who were in shorts. Some women were actually parading around in their jogbras.

It was one of those perfect, sunny spring skiing days where everyone has a smile on their face and all is right with the world.

Off to Go Schussing!

2007-03-16T16:00:00.000Z

I'm off to the wilds of Beaver Creek, CO. The resort who's tagline is "Not exactly roughing it."

Ten glorious days of skiing and spa treatments, friends and excessive alcohol intake await me.

Au revoir, mes amies!

Visual DNA

2007-03-14T15:53:00.000Z

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Mood - Sophisticat
You're romantic, sophisticated and love the beauty of wide open spaces. You can be a little nostalgic and love revisting familiar places and memories. When it comes to art, you have a traditional eye. You are passionate about history and skills that have been around for centuries, you believe truly great art stands the test of time. As for music, you love the festival vibe - open air, and a heap of people at your level. You love the buzz you get from watching live music - there's nothing like it. Your choice of treat shows you crave relaxation. Maybe you live a pampered life - or maybe you're so busy you don't seem to get any time to yourself. When you're tense you need a little help to unwind.

Fun - Conqueror
Always the first to take the leap, you never look back - you try not to have regrets. You like to take the plunge: this attitude will give you a wealth of experience. For kicks you like to indulge in your great passions. You are probably happy spending time alone, and your drive and curiosity will take you all over the world. When it comes to holidays, you like to explore and immerse yourself in another culture. Always on the go, you take in as much as you can. What grosses you out? Nobody is perfect, but some bad habits aren't acceptable; you realize health is wealth.

Habits - High Time Roller
You treasure your possessions. Looking fresh is standard for you - but can leave your pockets light. If you look good, you feel better. Ah yes, the odd glass of wine - or two - nothing beats it. After a long day you like to curl up and unwind. Nothing beats relaxing the shoulders, loosening the tongue and letting the day go by. As for the home, you are traditional: you invest in quality and history. You like your home to be as stylish as you are.

Love - Love Bug
You're a bit of a softie. Your love is unconditional and loyal. When you think of freedom - you think of living for here and now. You're pretty fearless and take any opportunity given to you.

Flyby Goodbye?

2007-03-14T15:23:00.000Z

It's come to this.

I haven't seen Flyby since early February. It's been over a month.

We've made plans for tomorrow night. I leave for my vacation on Friday. If we aren't able to get our act together to see one another tomorrow, then I'm going to put the lid on our relationship.

I don't come to this decision lightly. But, I'm no longer amused by our conflicting schedules. I'm not willing to just wait around.

Does Flyby know how much is riding on his making our date tomorrow night? No.

And I know all about airline delays, work, etc. Believe me, I've been living that reality for the past year.

I know it's not fair. I know that I should at least tell him how much tomorrow means to the future of our relationship.

But, at the end of the day - a relationship takes the participation of both parties.

Tagged!

2007-03-10T19:50:00.000Z

Scarlett tagged me so here goes...

On December 31

Notable Events

1879 - Thomas Edison demonstrates incandescent lighting to the public for the first time.
1904 - The first New Year's Eve celebration is held in Times Square, then known as Longacre Square, in New York, New York.
1946 - President Harry Truman officially proclaims the end of hostilities in World War II.
1991 - The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics is officially dissolved.

Birthdays

1880 - George C. Marshall, United States Secretary of State, Nobel Laureate (d. 1959)
1945 - Diane von Fürstenberg, Belgian-born fashion designer

Deaths

192 - Commodus, Roman Emperor (b. 161)

Holidays

New Year's Eve, baby!

I Hate DC Taxicabs

2007-03-07T19:58:00.000Z

It's been my long held belief, that one of the characteristics of a true city is the ability to flag down a cab. That's why in my mind, Denver - lovely though it is, isn't a real city. Nope, having to call a cab to take my drunk ass home was often too much of an effort.

There are many reasons why I love taxicabs. I can have another drink. I can work on my way out to the airport. If I'm too tired to catch the bus or metro I can just flag a cab. I can catch up and gossip with friends. And some of the most significant romances in my life began and/or ended in the back of a cab.

I take pride in my ability to flag down taxis. In other cities, my friends leave it up to me to get the cab. It's a well honed and widely admired skill I developed as a young lass. The whistle alone took many hours of practice.

But, my love affair with taxicabs is waning quickly. I blame the DC cab system for this.

First, is my ever abiding hatred of zones. Who understands them? I'm quite certain that the cab drivers don't (or at the very least, pretend not to). I've had taxis from my office to National airport cost anywhere from $18 to $24. And don't tell me the difference is due to traveling during rush hour. It's only supposed to add $1 to your trip. According to the nifty taxi fare calculator posted on the DC government website, my total fare should be $13.15. If I throw in $0.50 for bags, it still should only be $16. I've never paid only $16!

In other cities (Chicago, NYC, etc.), you pay what's shown on the meter. Sure, you could get stuck in a traffic jam for hours on your way out to O'Hare, but you know what you're paying cause you see it clearly on the meter.

You know, I'd still be ok with being ripped off (though it still sticks in my craw when I have to pay $9 for a 6 block cab ride) if I actually knew when a cab is available to be flagged down. In other cities, if the taxi light on top of the car is off, it means that the driver already has a passenger, on the way to a pickup or is off-duty. If it's on, that means they're available to provide you a ride to whereever you want to go. It's a lovely thing in its simplicity. You'd think that here in DC, the nation's capital, it would be a relatively easy matter to get widespread adoption of this universal system.

But, no. Not so much. Last night, I stood outside of a fairly popular "seen and be seen" power dinner steakhouse type of place, trying to flag down a cab. All the cabs I saw had their taxi light lit whether or not they had passengers. I swear to God, four cabs (lights on, mind you!) with no passengers just passed me by without a glance.

WTF?

It wasn't snowing. It wasn't raining. I was dressed fairly nicely. I looked like I could afford a cab. Why wouldn't they stop?

If this had been the first time a situation like this occurred, I would have merely shrugged it off. Unfortunately, it's not an uncommon experience.

I think Washington DC may not be a real city after all.

New Fun Ways of Torturing Myself

2007-03-01T01:35:00.000Z

I've been steadily gaining back the weight I lost during marathon training last year. I determined drastic measures must be taken. It's a slippery slope, my friends, and I was in free fall.

So knowing self-motivation to get myself to exercise was nil, I tossed around some ideas as to what this year's torture/motivation hidden in the guise of physical fitness would be.

So what would it be?

I'm committed to finishing another marathon this year. My 6+ hour time still gnaws at me. So I'm determined to whittle it down to 5:30. In order to achieve this I know that I'm going to have to drop weight to gain some speed.

But, since I hate weight training, dieting and exercise in general, this presented a problem.

The solution? Boot camp.

Yes, folks...I get up every morning at the glorious hour of 4:45 in order to get dressed, walk my dog, and speed on 395 in order to get to the meeting place on time (5:45 a.m.). I give someone a chunk of money for him to scream at me to run faster, give him 100 jumping jacks, and call my efforts at push-up's "girly". I would never have thought of doing leg lunges backwards, up a hill. Bastard! We've also run up and down the Foggy Bottom metro 5 times at a stretch. Asshole! We do jog/sprints. Shithead! And he also tortures us by making us do ungodly amounts of reps with hand weights. Motherfucker!

It's a love/hate thing with the instructor. I hate him during class and I curse him (quietly cause he'll make me do more push-ups as punishment). But after class, as every muscle in my body is quivering and I'm drenched in sweat, I acknowledge that I would never work as hard as he makes me. Knowing that just in the short time (a week) that I've been taking his class, my clothes are no longer too tight, I'm grateful.

Right now, I ache so much that laughing hurts.

Just Call Already!

2007-02-26T18:26:00.000Z

So, I finally heard from Flyby yesterday.

He called me to ask to why I haven't answered any of his text messages throughout this past week. Was I angry at him?

I had been perplexed as to why he hadn't answered any of my text messages to him this past week. Was he angry at me?

It turns out that the text messaging functionality was never turned on when I switched to my new phone.

Oops.

Now after having missed each other all week, he's headed out of the country for a couple of weeks. At which point, I will be headed to Colorado for my vacation.

Modern dating - it's awesome!

Self Intervention

2007-02-19T20:43:00.000Z

Ok. Dramatic measures must be taken. I've now locked away the credit and debit cards. My various shopping expeditions have now ceased to bemuse me. Instead, they are scaring the crap out of me.

I went to REI today to return a fleece having convinced myself that there wasn't a need for yet another fleece hoodie when I have 10 others.

"See?" I thought smugly. "I'm decluttering my life."

By the time I walked out, I had replaced the fleece jacket with a pair of gloves, a pair of shoes, a hat, a fleece neck gaiter and a holder for my new cell phone.

This little shopping expedition just snowballed from there. When I got home, along with the bag of goodies from REI, I also had the following:

Bottle of very expensive truffle oil
Bottle of very expensive balsamic vinegar
Bottle of very expensive pure vanilla extract
Bottle of very expensive Mediterranean sea salt
A set of bakeware
Cooling racks for baked goods

Note: I have not cooked anything fancier than Super Bowl chili and Thanksgiving dinner in the past year.
Three coffee mugs of different designs
Two boxes of old fashioned salt water taffy (one of which I've already eaten)
Devine pair of brown Fratelli Rosetti high heel Mary Janes. These I'm keeping no matter what anyone says!

I barely stopped myself from buying not one, but two Kate Spade patent leather peep toe pumps. Yes, I have a shoe addiction (evidence by the fact that I've bought 5 pairs of shoes in the past couple of weeks) but , even I have to admit that this is ridiculous.

How Many Accessories Does a Dog Need?

2007-02-19T00:26:00.000Z

Here is Bella..
Here are only half of Bella's toys...

Her toys and accessories weigh more than she does and take up two LARGE toy boxes.

She has multiples of the same things. She has 8 bones, 5 Cuz balls, 2 Kongs, 2 frogs, 3 ducks, and God only knows how many tennis balls. She also has 6 different collars (only one which she wears with any consistency), 4 types of leashes and 4 bandanas. She also has a raincoat (which she hates) and booties from when we would hike 14er's in Colorado (scree is very painful and often cuts dogs' feet pads). And she looks so darn cute in her red Burberry patent leather collar but she hasn't worn it since she got it for Christmas last year.

Does one 50 pound dog require so many accessories?

I think not. Sorry, Bella. You're gonna be making a donation to the local animal shelter as your contribution to Mama's "Declutter My Life 2007".

Decluttering My Life

2007-02-18T20:30:00.000Z

I know I'm teetering toward depression because impulse shopping, for me, is a clear sign that things are not right. I have to stop before I go into massive debt.

The evidence? Let's just list the things I've bought in the past week:

New Cingular 8525 - almost $900 between equipment, accessories and linking it up to work e-mail
New REI camisole - I already have over 10 camisoles in my drawer
New Dakini jacket - I have a collection of two winter overcoats, two raincoats, three ski jackets, two windbreakers, two fleece windstopper jackets, three Dri-Fit jackets, two denim jackets, a shearling jacket, and a leather bomber jacket
New sweater - I have a collection of over 20 sweaters (most of them cashmere)
New flip flops - I have five in my collection, four of them black
Two new long-sleeve performance t-shirts - ok, these I needed for cold weather running since I don't have any
New Merrell Primo Chill slides (black) - I just bought these in green less than a month ago
Two dress shirts (one white, one blue) - I just counted 7 white dress shirts in my closet

Note, that the list above doesn't include the stuff I bought the previous week prior to my dark and twisty turn.

Now, I know that I'll make use of my new purchases. After all, I'm not one to buy something for the sake of buying it. But, I only have so much room in my house and I need to stop buying more stuff or else it'll explode.

So, this weekend I'm ruthlessly weeding through my closets and tossing anything that hasn't been utilized in over two years. I'm also tossing everything I have too many multiples of. There is no reason as to why I have four pairs of black rubber flip flops, 40 t-shirts, 9 pair of khaki shorts, two full bookcases stuffed with trashy novels, or exercise equipment that hasn't seen the light of day since I moved into this house. We won't even mention the kitchen doodads I never use.

I suppose I could list some of the nicer stuff on Craiglist but I don't want to hassle with setting up appointments for people to come into my home and paw through my stuff. They are going to Goodwill and I'll take the tax write-off, thank you very much.

So, in the process of going through my clothing, I've been making sure that the clothes I'm keeping are in good repair, cleaned, ironed and hung neatly back in the closet. I realize that part of the reason I have so many of the same things is that I don't like doing laundry. I've just spent most of yesterday and today doing 8 loads of laundry.

Bella's looking at me as if I've gone quite mad.

Dark and Twisty

2007-02-16T21:25:00.000Z

It's been an incredibly stressful and depressing week. I thought my mood was related to the drama that was going on at the office.

I really didn't want to dwell on it, but today I forced myself to face up to the fact that death seemed to be swirling around me all week. Morbid, I know but it's the truth.

It began Sunday morning. My cousin Izzie called with the news that my mother's stepmother (I guess that made her my stepgrandmother) had died of a sudden heart attack. My stepgrandmother had been married to my grandfather only for a year or so before he suffered a massive stroke. He spent an additional three years in a nursing home and subsequently passed away over five years ago.

Anyway, my mother was panicked by the news. As it turned out, her stepmother's body had been sent away to the Cook County Medical Examiner's office and she had no idea as to how to claim the body. She couldn't get a hold of her stepmother's sister in South Carolina and she didn't know how to deal with all the details of the funeral. As she sounded so freaked out, I booked myself on a flight back to Chicago for that afternoon. Two hours before I took off, Mom called telling me it wasn't necessary to come since she had managed to get a hold of the sister and had the superintendent of her stepmother's building to let her into the apartment to get a hold of documents proving her relationship with the deceased.

I was somewhat relieved by the news since 1) I had never been close to my stepgrandmother and 2) I was reluctant to break plans with Flyby. Monday rolled around and I got calls from both my brothers telling me they were planning on attending the funeral. Selfishly, I was torn about whether or not to go. I wanted to see my brothers and mother, but I also wanted to see Flyby.

Tuesday morning came quickly and I decided to go to Chicago to be with my family. So, I booked a ticket for a flight out at 2:00 and texted Flyby to call me. I felt I needed to talk to him live to have him understand why I was cancelling on yet another business dinner, especially the night before his birthday. Unfortunately, both plans got shot down by the weather. All flights in and out of Chicago were grounded and Flyby was unable to get into DC.

I'd talked to my mother and brothers pretty constantly over the course of this week in the leadup to my stepgrandmother's cremation and funeral mass and by yesterday morning, everything was done. I was relieved for everyone in the family. A weight lifted off my chest and I felt able to breathe again.

Last night, I was ensconced on the couch watching my favorite program - Grey's Anatomy. Such a chick thing, I know. The theme of last night's episode was the death of many victims of a ferry boat crash including the life and death situation of the lead character. Not very mood elevating, I'm afraid.

As I was watching the program, Bella's doggie daycare provider came to drop her off. She and I usually chat about how Bella's day was, the weather, and other inane topics. Last night, clearly upset, she asked me if I'd heard about the Metrobus killing two pedestrians. It turns out that they are neighbors of mine who live a block away from me.

I vaguely knew one of the victims, Sally McGee. She also utilized the same doggie daycare. One of the charming aspects of my neighborhood has been the close knit community. Sally's dog and mine would often cross each other's paths during the early morning walks. We'd exchange "hellos" and chat about the goings on in the neighborhood.

Since hearing the news, I've been numb. I feel dark and twisty inside again. I'm hoping this mood will pass and the light that's been so bright again will shine through.

I Shouldn't Have Worried

2007-02-14T14:37:00.001Z

My bad luck with Valentine's Day plans continues. I panicked for absolutely no reason.

I had been frantic as to whether or not to get a gift for Flyby as today is a double whammy - it's not only Valentine's Day but his 40th birthday. But, given the fact that his flight back to DC was cancelled last night due to the storm and now he'll have to fly directly to his sister's wedding, I've been given a reprieve.

So being that I'm the only one in the office thus far, I think I'll play with and program the new toy I got myself when I should have been shopping for Flyby.

Tonight, I'm joining the singles dinner along with a bunch of the gals.

New Toy

2007-02-13T23:59:00.000Z

No...not that kind of toy, you pervs!

But, come to think of it...since Flyby's flight has been cancelled tonight, I definitely should make a mental note to replace my broken toy. Especially, since I won't see him for yet another week.

Anywhoo...

I love small electronic gadgets. Cameras, iPods, cell phones - I'm one of those people known as "early adopters." You know who I'm talking about - the crazy people who spend hundreds of dollars on new toys when they can buy it for 75% cheaper in 6 months. I remember when the Razr's first came out, I spent $350 to be one of the first to carry it. I loved that phone but I've noticed that everyone now seems to carry one.

I also had to acknowledge in today's world of text messaging I wanted, nay needed, a QWERTY keyboard. I could have lobbied my employer to give me a Treo, but a) it would mean being available 24/7 and b) too much workplace politics involved. I would, once again, be accused of getting preferential treatment. Of course, when the office shut down at 2:00 today, I and my boss were one of the very few that stayed on to work.

But, I digress. I could have bought the Blackberry but I didn't like the way it felt. The Blackberry Pearl was cute, but no QWERTY. The new Palm 750 just wasn't very attractive.

So today, I got the Cingular 8525.

It's kind of fun and quirky. It flips open to give the user a huge (for a cell phone) keyboard and it runs on the 3G network which means REALLY fast internet access. On top of all that, it has an 2MP camera.

I'm hoping with this phone, I won't have to lug my laptop out while waiting around in airports to access my e-mails and get some easy work done.

But let's be honest, the real reason I got it is cause I don't see anyone else with it.

Gift Advice Needed ASAP!

2007-02-12T15:58:00.001Z

I'm anti-Valentine's Day. It's kind of like New Year's in my opinion. Your expectations of the day rarely meet up with the reality. Not having had a significant other the past couple of years, I haven't even acknowledged the existence of the holiday other than to celebrate the fact that good chocolates are hugely discounted the day after.

This year, I have a double conundrum. Not only do I have a significant other, it's also Flyby's 40th birthday.

I still thought that I was able to avoid V-Day because Flyby had been scheduled to be out of town all this week. We had promised each other that we'd celebrate his birthday when he got back next week. It also gave me an extra week to try and come up with a gift. What do you get the man who has everything but time?

But, as the saying goes, "the best laid plans..."

He's coming into town tomorrow for a business dinner and then leaves early Wednesday morning. He's invited me to attend the dinner. Since I've cancelled on three other such dinners (twice at the last minute) I feel that I really need to attend this one.

But given that his birthday is Wednesday and it is Valentine's Day, should I bring a gift? I mean, it's a business dinner, after all. Wouldn't it be awkward?

Help!

"I Like to Think of It as an Interest Free Savings Account"

2007-02-11T15:56:00.000Z

Baby Brother was shocked and horrified when I told him the amount of money I received in state (DC and Virginia) and federal refunds this year.

Baby Brother: Don't you realize that you're giving the government an interest free loan?

Me: I believe in paying taxes.

Baby Brother: I do too! We're Democrats, after all. But, for God's sake, why wouldn't you just save the money?

Me: I'm not a saver. I'm a fritterer. I have to sock money away where I can't touch it or where I don't think about it. That's why my 401K is as healthy as it is. It's a no-brainer.

Baby Brother: Hello? That's what savings accounts are for.

Me: Doesn't work for me. I can still get to the money. I can't save above two months worth of mortgage payments. It's impossible for me to think of all that money doing nothing rather than going to something fun for me.

Baby Brother: Savings accounts earn money for you in interest!

Me: Booooring. I can do so many more fun things with money in hand rather than money in the bank. In fact, I like to think of the money I send to the government as an interest free savings account. A gift to myself even.

Baby Brother: What!?!

Me: It's a nice surprise every February or March. I have a relatively large chunk of change with which to do anything I want.

Baby Brother: You're going to put it into a savings or money market account, right?

Me: Nope. It's already gone.

Baby Brother: Oh my God! You just got the refunds. What did you spend it on, exactly?

Me: Well, I bought these darling pair of red patent leather peep toe high heels. I wanted to redo my bedroom so I bought new sheets and comforters. My vacuum cleaner died so I needed a new one. There was a great sale at Ann Taylor and I bought a couple of cashmere sweaters, a suit, and a pair of pants. I needed to buy a plane ticket to LA to watch Prodigal Son kill himself in the LA marathon the weekend of March 3. Then of course, I had my annual week long ski trip to Colorado on March 16 and you know what that involves - plane ticket, 10 day rental of an SUV, ski condo rental, etc.

Baby Brother: So other than the vacuum cleaner, you've just spent thousands of dollars on things you didn't need.

Me: Hello? I haven't bought a pair of shoes in forever. I needed those shoes.

Baby Brother: And how much were those shoes?

Me: It's not the cost that's important. It's how they make me feel.

Baby Brother: You mean poorer?

Me: Nope. Sexier, more attractive, taller...

Baby Brother: You wouldn't have bought a house if I hadn't forced you, would you?

Me: Nope.

Baby Brother: OK. I see how this is going to be. I'm putting you on an allowance.

Me: How old do you think I am?!?

Baby Brother: You're 37. But, until you get a husband you need a minder. You need rescuing and you need to be saving money.

Me: Uhm. Number one - I do NOT need a husband nor do I need any form of rescuing from some man. Saving money for what exactly?

Baby Brother: I don't know. Stuff you want to do.

Me: Like buy expensive shoes? Go on vacations? That's what my interest free savings account to the government is about.

Baby Brother: ARGH!

Methinks I won my argument.

Daily Things I Love

2007-02-02T03:31:00.000Z

The way my dog lays her paws on my chest and stares at me until I wake up.
Choosing which beautiful pair of shoes to wear - today it was the nude Miu Miu high heeled mary janes.
Finding the one lane that's moving during the daily traffic jam.
Blasting music to whatever suits my mood - today it was a mix of Snow Patrol, Natalie Imbruglia, Kanye West, and Dixie Chicks.
Being the "go to gal" at the office.
Having time for lunch.
Getting "just thinking about you" or "honey, I'm back" texts from Flyby.
Leaving work at a reasonable hour.
Changing out of my professional clothes into my fleece and sweats as soon as I walk in the door of my house.
Having a quiet glass of wine or a cup of coffee or tea while purusing the mail.
The new HDTV with DVR.
The way my dog greets me when her daycare drops her back off at home.
Crawling into my already warmed bed (electric mattress pad - love it!).
Having Bella jump up onto the top of my covers and curl at my feet.
Falling easily into a deep slumber.

Opportunities and Choices

2007-01-31T04:35:00.000Z

Or Perhaps Not.

I've had two jobs that I've absolutely loved. The first was in politics and the second was in high tech. The first I gave up because I wanted to make more money. The second I was forced to give up due to the tech market crashing.

This past week, I had two job offers - one political and the other in high tech.

The political one I turned down for the same reason I left paid politics 15 (eek!) years ago - it pays for shit. Though, I have to say if I hadn't just bought a condo I would be very sorely tempted. It's for a candidate I admire and it was fairly high up in the campaign structure. But, I have a mortgage now and I have to be an adult. Plus I like to, you know, go grocery shopping every once in a while.

I had dinner tonight with an old VP of mine from my high flying high tech days. Back in the day, I was known as the "Pit Bull". If a project was delayed, unable to meet budget, or just generally fucked up, I was sent in to fix it. I took great pride that project teams were often fearful when assigned the Pit Bull. It meant that their projects were under the microscope and they were going to bust their asses to get it done on time, under budget, and right.

It's no lie when I say I loved my job. I was employee 1,251 in a company that grew to over 65,000 through takeovers and mergers. I was amply rewarded for my talents at the time. I made a lot of money, got huge cash and stock option bonuses and quickly climbed the corporate ladder. In two and a half years, I moved from technical analyst to supervisor to manager to project manager to senior project manager. I moved from the consumer (small bucks and small products) to the large business and wholesale unit (sexier, big bucks and huge products) I was in line to become director in another six months. Then almost without warning, the market crashed, I broke my ankle and was laid up in bed for 16 weeks (no joke) and then laid off.

Since that time, I've left the private sector where my life isn't predictable by any means, but it is safe. I pretty much have a job that is guaranteed for life. It pays well. I'll never become a millionaire (paper or otherwise) again but my job affords me the ability to lead a very comfortable existence. And the benefits! Fridays off during the summer, shutdown between Christmas and New Year's, employer paid medical and dental insurance, extremely generous vacation (four weeks!) and medical leave, a 401k with great employer matching and I'm only a year away from vesting for my pension. Yes, my job includes a pension.

I won't lie and tell you that I don't miss my old career. I do. I miss being in charge of outrageous budgets and huge teams. I miss the boardroom negotiations. I miss the camaraderie of smart people my own age.

So, when my old boss offered me a job tonight, I was tempted. It's DC based (though out by Reston - yuck). The salary is double what I'm making now. And I'd be doing what I did best - leading complex project launches for high tech products. He even brought an offer letter to dinner.

I realize that I don't have that fire in my belly anymore to climb the corporate ladder. I don't want to spend all my time at work which is what I'd be doing if I took this position. I'd be back to leaving for work at 6 in the morning and staying past midnight. I'd be on the road (it's a multinational) constantly and living out of my suitcase again. Plus, this company just laid off a large number of it's workforce late last year so my position wouldn't be guaranteed.

As much as I bitch and moan about my current job, I'm at home by 7 most evenings. The earliest I get to work is 8:30, most days it's closer to 9. Yes, I travel a lot. Yes, the work is often frustrating in its hierarchical structure and rules, often not challenging and I have to deal with a lot of people who are often lazy, silly and/or stupid. But, I like the security and I'm comfortable and I do my job well.

I realize that's pretty much all I require out of a job. I finally have learned to work to live. And I'm enjoying the free time that it's afforded me.

Simple Pleasures

2007-01-28T17:32:00.000Z

One of the features that sold me on my condo are the number of windows and the white plantation shutters that cover them. They provide the perfect frame for the picture that is my little corner of the world. I have enjoyed the daily changes that the weather and the inexorable march of the seasons have brought to my view.

Today's soft rain has bought a hazy, gentle light that echos my mood.

I'm burrowed underneath my warm, fluffy comforter in my fabulously comfortable bed, where I can look through my perfectly framed view at the misty world outside. The Sunday papers are scattered around me, I have some books I've been meaning to read within easy reach, a hot cup of coffee on the bedside table, and my dog gently snoring at my feet.

I smile in easy contentment.

Yes, He's Still Around...Kinda

2007-01-25T00:57:00.000Z

Some have asked why the dirth of Flyby news. Has he crashed and burned as so many others? Are we fighting? Are we having sex? Are we still seeing one another?

No. No. No. Yes.

As you know, our schedules are hardly ever in sync. We do see one another when we can manage to be in DC at the same time. It's usually just a quick bite to eat with some cuddling and kissing over drinks. It's been difficult between the dislocated elbow, distressingly long workdays, travel, and Aunt Flo (TMI?) to get our timing right in order to reconsummate our relationship.

For example, I'm writing this from a hotel room in Kentucky and he's been flying for the past week and I don't expect him back in DC for at least another week.

He's recently disclosed to me that he's being deployed back to Iraq again as part of the surge. It's looking like it'll happen in the next couple of months and he'll more than likely be gone for a year. I suppose I can take comfort in the fact that very few F-16 pilots (one to my recollection) have been killed in combat during this latest Iraq war.

I'm being a chicken shit and trying to avoid the heart to heart discussion that I know is due. Quite frankly, I'm happy with the way things are right now in my life and I want to stay happy. I feel like any change in the current state of affairs will just knock everything off kilter.

I don't suppose I can avoid him until he leaves?

Super Bowl Bound - How Sweet It Is

2007-01-22T14:27:00.000Z

My memories of growing up outside of Chicago have a lot to do with sports. My dad was a monosyllabic type of man whose love for the Bears, Bulls and Cubs ranked right behind his love of God, his wife, his children and his church. I bonded with my father over many televised Cubs, Bulls, and Bears games. Dad would use the personality of various local sports figures to emphasize his life lessons.

I grew up with Walter "Sweetness" Payton, Mike Singletary, William "The Refrigerator" Perry, Coach Ditka and the rest of the Junkyard Dogs as members of the extended family

Last night was perfect Bears weather - snowy, windy and downright nasty. It was a typical Bears victory - ugly, tenacious and dogged. Defense and the running game - hallmarks of the Bears.

Dad would have loved it.

I Blame It On My Va-Jay-Jay

2007-01-19T14:47:00.000Z

Hi, my name is JoJo and I'm a Grey's Anatomy addict.

Yes, I admit it. I'm one of those sappy women (along with legions of gay men and the occasional straight guy who's in touch with his feelings) who is addicted to Grey's Anatomy. I'm scarily invested in what happens to these people.

Last night's show was excellent in its acting and storyline. The below exchange between my two favorite characters absolutely slayed me.

George: I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't.
Christina: Yeah, that really never changes.

I had tears coursing down my face. My dog was so worried, she laid her paws on my lap and started licking the tears off my cheeks to comfort me.

I blame it on my va-jay-jay.

Seriously?

2007-01-18T00:48:00.000Z

Note: I'm probably going to have to take down this post soon because if recent activity in the DC blogosphere is any indication, I'm going to get personally attacked for posting my opinion.

I admit I'm a serial lurker in the DC blogosphere. There are a lot of blogs that I read throughout the course of a day and very rarely do I delurk to comment. I bookmark those that often comment on my blog as well as others I find interesting and funny. I also frequently go through the DCBlogs live feed and click on whatever post catches my eye.

I noted with curiosity that a couple of my favorite bloggers, Kathryn and Circle V, had decided to shut down their blogs at the end of last year. Both are excellent writers and wits and I sorely miss them in my daily perusal of the blogosphere. I always kind of envied their descriptions of the various happy hours as well as the adventures they had with their fellow bloggers. I never went to a Blogger HH because I was always on the road and quite frankly, I'm a wee bit older than the majority of the bloggers that frequented those gatherings. But, they appeared to be good natured gatherings of like minded individuals who were out to have a good time and meet new people.

Today, I think I got an inkling as to why Kathryn and Circle V decided to stop blogging.

The past month or so, I'd been traveling for pleasure (yea!) and for work so I haven't had a chance to really sit down and read anything but work related stuff and the occasional Wonkette article. But, last night and this morning I was able to go to some of my favorite blogger's sites and catch up.

Oh. My. God.

There appears to be some sort of major blog war going on between several prominent DC bloggers (especially those that had gone to blogger HH's). It's nasty, small minded, and mean spirited. The posts and commentary are very personal in nature and the attacks and counterattacks just get dirtier. It the equivalent of writing graffiti on the bathroom walls of your high school announcing so and so is a whore/bitch/asshole/liar etc.

People, you're adults. I know that you're all at least in your 20's, if not older. Didn't you remember to leave the infantile behavior behind back in school? And attacking someone based on personal appearance, penis size, or taste in clothing/jewelry is so lacking in manners.

I don't dispute that everyone has a right to state their opinion in any manner they see fit. Hell, that's the reason that a lot of us blog. But, I'd like to think that we're all adult enough in any situation where if, unfortunately, there is a falling out or an unprovoked attack to say to ourselves, "Ok, this person/blog isn't worth my time. I'm just not going to write, comment, or think about them anymore." End of story. Or rather, it should be.

But, apparently adult behavior has gone missing in our DC blogging community. I saw one post today on someone's blog that had over 50 comments from basically the same 6 or 7 people playing he said/she said with ever increasing personal attacks.

C'mon folks. Grow up.

Seriously.

Now that I've said my piece, excuse me while I go back and hide my head in the sand again.

What I Know Now

2007-01-16T04:52:00.000Z

I've been leafing through a book I received from my cousin Izzie called What I Know Now. Forty-one famous and successful women wrote letters to themselves at an earlier point in their lives, filled with words of wisdom and knowledge they wish they had had when they were younger. I've decided to take a page out of this book and write a letter to myself at age 29, just before I turned 30.

Dear JoJo,

You're heartbroken because the man you loved, built a home with and pinned your hopes and dreams to, has told you that he doesn't have enough passion for you to marry you. You're devastated and wondering what is wrong with you that he doesn't love you enough to marry you.

It'll take a while, but one day you'll realize that the lack was never in you. It was in him. It doesn't make him a bad person - just not the right man for you.

You'll take that hurt, anger and pain and turn it around to focus your energies on yourself. Without much conscious thought you challenge yourself to do new things, speak up, and be noticed. You'll compete in your first triathlon, you'll start your lifelong love affair with travel, you'll climb that corporate ladder and you'll question your place in society. You decide that you won't be defined by any man, you'll be doing the defining.

It's a wonderful few years you'll have of success on your own terms. You're confident and happy. You'll attract wonderful people, some of whom you'll have great romances with, some of whom will become the family of your heart. You know who you are, where you want to go, and how you want to lead your life. I wish you would learn to hold onto that sense of self because when you need it most it'll be gone and you'll struggle to find yourself again.

You'll be knocked down by a series of events of which you have no control - the tech bubble collapses and you'll lose your job, you'll suffer a series of injuries which lay you up a number of times, you'll be betrayed by family, and most devastatingly, your father - your rock - will be diagnosed with lung cancer. It doesn't happen all at once, but each event occurs in such succession that you are never able to quite get back on your feet. At the end, you're left just reacting to the next crisis.

One day, you'll wake up at 36 and realize that the last 4 years have come and gone and you're a different person. You'll realize that you'd most recently spent an entire year just...existing. You'll ask yourself, "What will make me happy?" and you won't know. You'll realize you're a stranger to yourself. You mourn the loss of four prime years of your life. Years where you could have been pursuing success, falling in love and building a family. It will scare you to think that perhaps you won't ever be happy again.

But, once you're done panicking about the loss of time, you'll reflect on the periods you were most happy and recall the year you turned 30. Taking a page out of that book, you'll set goals for yourself. You're not sure if they're the right goals, but you have to start somewhere. You decide to run a marathon, buy a house, re-engage in your job, and open yourself up to romance. You succeed for the most part and by the end of your 36th year, you regain your sense of self. You also remember how to have fun again.

One evening, early in 2007, you'll go out to dinner with a dozen women around your age. These women are attractive, interesting, funny, and successful. Though only one of them are married, the subject of men doesn't even come up. The discussion centers around happiness, career, fulfillment, and current events. There is wonderful food, diverse conversation, and lots of laughter.

You won't really think about the significance of that evening until a bit later. You'll soon realize that you've come to a place where you've defined your own happiness. You've elected to surround yourself with people who reflect that choice and you revel in the knowledge of knowing who you are.

It's been a long dark period but you've come back into the light. Congratulations.

With much love,

JoJo

Not That I'm Complaining

2007-01-08T23:08:00.000Z

So it's been a fairly successful haul of gifts this Christmas/birthday season. My family doesn't dick around by trying to guess what everyone wants. We tell each other. It may not be all "holiday spirit" but we're never disappointed by our gifts either.

I wanted a new tv. Specifically, I wanted a flat panel HDTV. Thanks to Baby Brother and Prodigal Son, it's gonna be delivered on Friday. To be honest, I didn't think that they'd be quite so generous. They got me the Samsung LNS4051D 40" LCD HDTV.

Yes, I'm a very lucky sister indeed.

But, I have to confess that though I totally get geeked out over small electronics (cell phones, pda's, iPods), bigger electronics leaves me somewhat intimidated. For example, I had no idea that I had to buy special cables (HDMI, dontcha know) to connect the tv to the cable box. Plus, it turns out that I had to upgrade my cable box in order to get my new fangled HDTV to work. In addition, I had to upgrade my dvd player since the old one wasn't DVD-R nor was it HD. Apparently, I should also get a stereo receiver and surround sound. I put my foot down on that one. Is surround sound really necessary in a 780 square foot condo? So before I even received my new gift, I've shelled out $350 of my own money.

Somehow, I wasn't expecting this when I asked for a new television. Not that I'm complaining, you understand.

A New Year, A New Injury

2007-01-07T23:11:00.000Z

Yesterday was gorgeous and I dragged myself, the dog and my friend Mel to Great Falls. Mel is a fab person to hang out with. Just funny and fun to be with, great gal, and down to earth. I always end up laughing when I'm with her.

There were lots of people and Great Falls is a fabulous place to go that's close to the city and easily accessible. Very crowded but I felt good about getting some hiking in.

Toward the end of our hike, Mel and I were chatting about who knows what and of course we were laughing. Suddenly, my ankle gave out as it is wont to do. As I fell, I extended my left hand out and jarred my elbow. Ow.

As faithful readers know, this type of injury is not uncommon in my life. I did a self assessment, determined that nothing was broken (I'm able to move my elbow) and headed home. My feeling was that there was no sense in going to the ER where all they would make me wait for six hours, take x-rays, immobilize my arm and tell me to follow-up with my orthopedic surgeon on Monday. I figured I have pain pills, ice packs and a sling.

I proceeded to go out to a belated birthday dinner with Flyby where I was lectured about the need to get x-rays taken and to make sure that there wasn't any "hidden" damage. Whatever! But, he got me sufficiently worried that after our dinner, I drove myself to an Urgent Care Center which I figured would triage and diagnose me quicker than an ER.

Unfortunately, the Urgent Care Center doesn't do ortho. So given that my choice was the six hour wait at the ER or bed, I chose bed. I'm not totally stupid, I did call Dr. Cutie back in Denver to make sure that I didn't absolutely have to go to the ER. After the usual BS about being safe than sorry, he did concede that since I wasn't screaming in pain (though he did point out my rather high pain threshhold) that whatever damage I sustained would keep until Monday morning. Tomorrow morning, I will once again head over to Dr. L to have him check out another yet another injured joint.

In the meantime, I had got a lot accomplished - errands and laundry. Now I have piles of clean clothes just lying around since I've discovered that it's necessary to have two arms to fold laundry.

2007 - The Year of Fun

2007-01-03T22:48:00.000Z

Have more fun - this is my one New Year's resolution.

Though 2006 was a successful year for me, it wasn't fun for the most part. It was rewarding and I accomplished a lot of my goals. But it was, let's be honest, a lot of work. You know what they say about all work and no play...

I played hard this past weekend. I managed to meet up with my gals Sue and AL in Denver this past week. We spent a fabulous time in Breckenridge skiing, drinking, hot tubbing and drinking some more. Apparently, I'm quite amusing when inebriated. But then, who isn't when they are two sheets to the wind?

What I will remember most about this past weekend is how much undiluted fun I had laughing, being in the company of great friends, and skiing. All things I love. I resolve to do more of the same - more time with friends and family, more skiing, more traveling and most importantly, more laughing.

Reflections on 2006

2006-12-31T00:15:00.000Z

My office has been shut down since December 22 so I've had plenty of time to think and reflect on this past year and my resolutions for 2007. And you know what? Overall, I feel good about this past year. This is a marked change from my attitude of recent years past.

My first post of 2006 outlined my resolutions we we entered into 2006.

Be joyful - this one's big. Grasp happiness with both hands, hug it to your chest and savor.
Be brave - I've lost this in the past few years.
Be kind - most of all to myself.
Be selfish - mostly with my time.
Be healthy - yeah, too much sitting on the buttocks will make them spread.

So, how'd I do?

Be Joyful

Well, for the first time in years, I was able to experience joy and happiness. This was huge after spending a couple of years in the fog of depression. I still smile when I think of that first burst of joy.

Be Brave

I've done a few things which scared the bejeezus out of me. I've bought a house. I committed to running a marathon (and I finished!). I entered into a romantic relationship. These may not seem big but believe me, a year ago I couldn't have imagined myself doing any of those things.

Be Kind

I'm pretty sure that I'm not a kind person. I think I'm far too sarcastic, snarky and mean-spirited to be truly kind. But really, this resolution was about being kind to myself. I'm pretty much my worst critic and I need to do a better job of being nicer to myself. I'll have to continue to work on this one.

Be Selfish

I'm doing a better job of being selfish. I'm learning to say no a lot more. Some would argue that I'm inherently selfish and in some ways, they'd be right.

Be Healthy

I ran a marathon. Nuff said. Just kidding. Let's just put it this way. Maintenance is a bitch.

Prayer from Terminal Hell

2006-12-29T16:16:00.000Z

Dear God-

My hometown - Chicago. I love this city and I loved growing up here. Now, when the hell can I leave?!?

I actually got out of DC this morning and my plane landed early at O'Hare. Thank you very much for that small kindness.

My connecting flight to Denver was scheduled for 10:55 Chicago time. It's now been pushed to noon and the flight after mine has been cancelled. Do you not love me, God?

Lord, I know I was incredibly pissed this morning because it turns out that (gasp!), American Airlines gave me faulty information yesterday. Yes, my flight was cancelled from Dallas to Denver. But, it turns out that it was one of the two flights (out of 10 flights to Denver) which was cancelled. On top of that, there were flights after my scheduled flight that actually landed in Denver last night. You have to admit, that's enough to raise anyone's blood pressure.

I can take comfort from the fact that if I had made it to Denver last night, I would have had to spend the night out at an airport hotel. At least I got to sleep in my own bed. Thank you, God, for letting me rest another night in my own bed.

My girlfriend, AL, managed to get into Denver last night from Chicago. She didn't land until 10 and the situation had so deteriorated on the roads that I didn't feel right asking my best friend Sue to risk her life in order to drive out to the airport to pick up someone she's never met.

The above photo could easily have been AL last night.

But Lord, I was a good friend (and not suffering from just a little guilt since she was flying to Denver to help celebrate my birthday), I booked her at the only airport hotel with availability which thankfully was a Hilton property so I was able to use my points. See? I can be generous.

So, I sit here in Terminal 3 at O'Hare, praying that I can somehow make it to Denver.

God, you know I'm not used to being among the throngs when I travel. I have that itty bitty problem with crowds. I miss the Red Carpet Club. Oh, how I miss it. I thank Baby Brother for the free ticket but really, why isn't he a Star Alliance (United or US Airways) whore like the rest of us? Oh, was that selfish of me?

I just had to move seats because a rather large, unkempt businessman plopped his fat ass next to me and began to breathe heavily, while masticating a sandwich (with mouth open, no less) and loudly slurping his coffee. I heard him even though I had on my iPod. And he was trying to play armrest jockey with me while I was typing. Ya gotta admit, God. He's kinda lucky I didn't smack him upside the face with my laptop.

Ya know, I'm gonna turn 37 on Sunday. My eggs are shriveling, I'm now so gray that I have to color every month without fail, my body aches just getting out of bed and I'm going through adult onset acne. Plus I haven't had sex since July! And I've been dating someone! Oops, I shouldn't have told you that, Lord. I know you have issues with premarital S-E-X.

Anyway, God, I really want to end this year on a positive note. Can you throw a old maid a bone and make sure that my plans for spending my birthday/New Years with two of my favorite girlfriends will actually happen? Thanks!

And oh, Amen.

Flights to Denver Cancelled Today

2006-12-28T15:44:00.000Z

JoJo: Hi, I just tried to check in online for my flight to Denver and a message popped up telling me to call customer service? My flight locater number is ....

Agent: Yes, Ms. JoJo. It looks like your flight has been cancelled due to weather.

JoJo: Uhm, my flight isn't until 5 this afternoon.

Agent: Yes, but it's snowing in Denver.

JoJo: But, I just got off the phone with my friend in Denver and it hasn't started snowing yet!

Agent: Perhaps that's true...

JoJo: I'm IM'ing with her right now!

Agent: Nevertheless, your flight is cancelled.

JoJo: OK, can you rebook me on an earlier flight today? Maybe, I can beat the storm.

Agent: No, all American Airlines flight to Denver have been cancelled for today.

JoJo: Even though the snow hasn't accumulated yet?

Agent: That's correct.

JoJo: Allrighty, then. Can I rebook for departure tomorrow afternoon?

Agent: Well, I can route you through Chicago and the flight from there will get you into Denver at 12:30 p.m.

JoJo: Uhm, this storm isn't scheduled to end until tomorrow afternoon.

Agent: This is the only flight I have with availability.

JoJo: So, it's either this or?

Agent: Wait until the 30th.

JoJo: I guess I'll have to take the flight that's available tomorrow morning.

So, kids. How much do you want to bet I won't make it to Denver tomorrow?

Bangkok, Days 7 - Relaxing and Eating

2006-12-27T13:20:00.000Z

Tuesday, December 12

We woke up relatively late and had our last fab buffet breakfast and I admit to over-gorging myself on the fruit. So, so yummy.

Izzie had some work she needed to do so I went down to the pool and settled myself onto a lounge with the very last of the magazines I had brought over from the states. Thankfully, I was not witness to too many Euro men in speedos which unfortunately happened way too often poolside. What I did witness, over and over, was the site of middle aged men with Thai girls often barely out of their teens. Really pathetic.

Izzie joined me at the pool a couple of hours later and she and I just lazed about for the majority of the day, ordering drinks and snacks on whim. We chose to go out to dinner at a place called Le Lys which is popular with expats. Our last meal with drinks cost less than $25. This is with two entrees per person and apps. I will definitely miss the food!

Back at the hotel, we had a last cocktail and I prepared for, what would turn out to be, my epic journey home.

Bangkok, Day 6 - Chinatown, the Flower Market and High Tea

2006-12-27T11:57:00.000Z

Monday, December 11

Izzie has known me my entire life. So when I announced yesterday that I would not venture out into the heat of Bangkok between the hours of 11 and 3, she knew that there would be no changing my mind. I can be very recalcitrant when I've made up my mind.

She wanted to see some of the famous open air markets. I wanted to go antiquing (though with no intention of buying due to lack of funds). We compromised a bit by agreeing to set aside part of the day for her activities (generally outside) and another part for mine (inside and air conditioned).

She still wanted to do some more sightseeing so we left at 8 a.m. for Chinatown. We wandered around somewhat lost. We actually did this on purpose as one of the things Chinatown is famous for is its myriad alleyways which have open air market vendors selling every exotic foodstuff you can imagine.

One of my favorite things about travel is the unexpected. As Izzie and I were walking down one of the main thoroughfares of Chinatown, we happened upon this monk sitting patiently in the back of a pickup that was wending its way through the traffic. What caught my fancy was the fact that the monk was sitting next to a golden statue that appeared to be a very good likeness of him. Both had the same pose and sitting side by side, one imagines that they were holding a conversation on the hustle and bustle of the city.

Next on our agenda was the famous flower markets of Bangkok. Because we had purposely allowed ourselves to get lost in Chinatown, it was a while before we were able to find the flower market. On our way there, we managed to find the somewhat seedier markets, off the tourist path including Little India.

After wandering for what seemed like miles and passing a number of wats, we stumbled upon the flower market. The variety of blooms and the sheer size of the market, covering whole city blocks, was impressive. And after the odors which assaulted our senses in Chinatown and Little India, the smell of fresh cut flowers was a welcome reprieve.

From the Flower Market, we made our way to River City which is a large indoor mall filled with some amazing antique stores. I'm a huge antique junkie and indulged in my passion. There were no bargains to be had, but some beautiful and impressive antiques to be admired.

From there, we hopped on the Oriental Hotel's private river boat (all the hotels have their own boats to transport guests). You can pretty accurately judge how expensive the hotel is by their river boats. Let's just say that the Oriental's was veddy, veddy nice.

One of the activities suggested to us by Izzie's coworkers was High Tea at the Oriental - a kind of Bangkok institution left over from colonial days. This turned out to be our most expensive meal of the trip. But, we spent a couple of civilized hours chatting, sipping tea and gorging ourselves on sandwiches and sweets.

We agreed during tea that there wasn't any other sites that either one of us felt we had to see. Izzie wanted to pick up another memory card for her digital camera and so we stopped at Siam Paragon Shopping Mall on the way back to our hotel. I'd venture to say that the majority of the people we encountered earlier in the morning in Chinatown or Little India wouldn't have the funds to shop at a place like the Paragon.

I knew at that point I had reached the end of my touring/shopping limit. Tomorrow was to be our last day and I really wanted to just relax. I needed to finish my shopping today, otherwise, it simply wasn't going to happen. I suggested a quick dinner and then heading out to Suan Lum again for finish filling up my gigantic suitcase with Christmas presents.

Izzie was of the same mindset so we picked up some additional food at the Food Hall at the Paragon, went back to our hotel, rested our feet and ventured out again to Suan Lum. There, I found the rest of the loot I wanted to purchase and at the end of the night, Izzie and I went back to our room and collapsed into our respective beds.

Bangkok, Day 5 - All Wat'ed Out

2006-12-26T12:26:00.000Z

Sunday, December 10

Today, Izzie and I had set aside as "Tourist Day". After having dragged my ass across the Pacific over 24 hours of airplane travel, Izzie felt that it would be good to force feed me the sites of Bangkok.

Personally, I think I would have been happier poolside. Don't get me wrong, Bangkok is full of history and beautiful sites. Usually, I'd be all over this opportunity to learn more about the culture and people. If I were to be brutally honest, all I wanted to do was to sleep, tan and eat. But, part of going to another country is to experience the sights, smells and sounds of that country. Reluctantly, I tried to mentally prepared myself for the heat and crowds.

One thing I learned to appreciate about Bangkok is the abundance and ease of public transportation. We took the skytrain to the Saphan stop and then picked up Chaophraya Express Boat. We purchased a day pass so we could see all the sites along the Chao Phraya river at our leisure.

We took the boat up to Pier 13 to get our bearings and the "lay of the land". I have to say, there's nothing quite like what lay before us. Perched along the river were these ancient, beautiful wats (temples), interspersed with modern luxury hotels (the Peninsula, Oriental, Hilton, etc.), and what can only be described as slums.

We doubled back to visit the Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaew, also known as the Temple of the Emerald Buddha. The complex is huge and quite frankly overwhelming. Though magnificent, I have to say the combination of heat, humidity and crowds (a majority it appeared from a Princess cruise ship), meant that I didn't enjoy my visit as much as I normally would have. In fact, I was so distressed and stressed out from the experience, I told Izzie that I needed to go back to the hotel. Even though I had Xanax'd myself earlier that morning (I have a wee problem in some crowded situations), I felt a panic attack coming on.

We got back to the blessed cool and calm of our hotel and I announced that for the rest of the vacation, I would not be venturing outside into the heat between 11 and 3.

At 3, we made our way back down to the river. Thankfully, the sky was now overcast and the heat had abated somewhat. We went to Wat Pho (home of the Reclining Buddha which is over 35 meters long) and then Wat Arun (Temple of Dawn). The crowds had diminished and I was able to enjoy the sites. Even more, I enjoyed the people we encountered. Especially moving, were the Buddhist monks and the simple dignity in which they went about their daily lives.

When we were done touring Wat Arun, I announced to Izzie that I was all wat'ed out. We went back to the hotel where I promptly went to bed and fell into exhausted slumber. When I woke up, it was 10 p.m. and I was starving.

Having picked up my second wind, we decided to venture out to the Suan Lum Night Bazaar to do some more shopping and have dinner. We decided to take a cab (35 baht). Suan Lum was so much more enjoyable than Chatuchak. I'm sure it had a lot to do with the fact that it was much cooler (temperature-wise) and less crowded. But, I also found it to be charming, especially the open air beer garden. It's about the size of two football fields ringed by concession stands of food and beer vendors. At one end is a huge stage where Thai cover bands played the latest hits. I grabbed dinner and beer for 40 baht (that's a bit over $1).

The highlight of the day for me was to watch Izzie argue with our cabbie at the end of the night. We had been warned by the doormen at our hotel that cab drivers are reluctant to use their meters with tourists as they could charge more without a meter and the poor tourists wouldn't know any better. But for cabs to pick up anyone at the hotel, they are required to utilize the meter so we knew what our trip back to the hotel would cost. We ended up leaving one cab, at Izzie's insistence, after a block as he refused to turn his meter on and was going to charge us 100 baht. Then Izzie haggled ferociously to find us a cabbie willing to take us back to our hotel. Finally, she found a cabbie willing to charge us only 45 baht though he originally wanted 60.

The cab driver wasn't especially happy and proved it by hurtling through the streets of Bangkok to get rid of his foreign passengers. Relieved to have been delivered to the hotel in one piece, I paid the driver 60 baht. Izzie was furious at me as she had spent 15 minutes arguing with the guy to lower his price. I just had to laugh. I pointed out to Izzie that she had spent haggling over what amounted to a quarter.

But, it was the principle, she told me. Thankfully, she saw the inherent ridiculousness of the situation and reluctantly started laughing herself. It was good to laugh at the end of a stressful day.

Christmas Alone

2006-12-24T11:18:00.000Z

Shhhhh. Don't tell anyone. I'm doing my very best hiding in a cave imitation.

It turns out that my trip to Puerto Rico got cancelled last night. I have had lots of lovely invitations from friends to come out to the wilds of suburban Virginia or Maryland to spend Christmas with their families.

Usually, I'm all for vomiting decorations and gifts during the season. But, the past couple of years have felt forced to me. Perhaps, it was the ache of knowing that Dad is no longer with us. So this Christmas, I'm going to spend it in my pj's with my dog Bella. You may think it's lame and sad, but it's the Christmas I want.

I've not had a chance to get into the holiday spirit and I didn't want to force it. So, today I've done my laundry, played with my dog and cleaned my house. Tomorrow morning, I'll go to mass and spend the rest of the day by continuing the organizing of the details of my life and home.

Surprisingly, I feel content with the way I've chosen to spend my time. I've had a chance to reflect on past holidays, the accomplishments and failures of this past year, the family I've been blessed with and the friends who continually show me love and support.

Perhaps that's the real meaning of Christmas - to reflect on the blessings of one's life. To all of you, I wish you joy, health and peace.

Puerto Rico, My Heart's Devotion...

2006-12-21T00:26:00.000Z

And the rest of the verse from the song "America" from West Side Story goes...

Let it sink back in the ocean.
Always the hurricanes blowing,
Always the population growing,
And the money owing.
And the sunlight streaming,
And the natives steaming.

The reason this song is stuck in my brain is because I'm headed there Christmas Eve. I bet you all are thinking this is a vacation. But, it's not. I have to go for work. During the company shutdown. And I need to get down there before my ski trip to Colorado on the 28th. The only way I could get on a plane down there was to travel on Christmas Eve.

I'm just suffused with the Christmas spirit this year! Note heavy sarcasm.

Bangkok, Day 4 - Shopping, The New Contact Sport

2006-12-20T15:32:00.000Z

Saturday, December 9

I'm a gal who prides herself on my ability to pack light. So, it was no surprise to see cousin Izzie's mouth drop when she saw the extremely large empty suitcase I brought along with me. You see, I was determined to fill it up with Christmas presents and booty from the very famous markets of Bangkok.

Another reason for her shock was the fact that I'm not a person who enjoys shopping (with the exception of designer shoes and books). In fact, I have to pop a Xanax before stepping out to go Christmas shopping as the mass of humanity tends to freak me out. But, I came prepared mentally and pharmaceutically.

The most famous (or infamous) is the Chatuchak Weekend Market. This is the motherload. As evidence by its name, it's only open on the weekends. It covers an area of over 35 acres and 15,000 stalls. You can find anything you want from designer knockoffs, clothing, antiques, household accessories, jewelry, bulk items and unfortunately, live animals. Over 200,000 people come through the market every day it's open and it's just overwhelming. But, if you want a bargain, this is the place to go.

Izzie and I left for Chatuchak wicked early to beat the heat and the crowds. The market itself is laid out in a series of alleyways in sections which supposedly make some sort of sense. I couldn't figure it out though. I had very specific items I wanted to buy and I was successful in buying them. But after five hours of intensive bargaining the crowds started getting oppressive and the heat of the day just ripened all the not so pleasant odors.

It was time to go. So Izzie and I went back to the comfort and air conditioning of our hotel. After spending some time by the pool (a constant theme), we decided to take an afternoon siesta. Big mistake. The experience at Chatuchak was so exhausting, we ended up sleeping until 10 p.m.

We had drinks at The Living Room and then went back to bed as the next day would be equally tiring - we were finally going to do the tourist thing.